Thursday, April 2, 2015

Night Fall & Piggy & Dirt Sunrises

On occassion we get some sun here in Idaho. This is what my sunrise looks like today.
*on April 1st
Here is what J's looks like. *sometime before April 1st.
He got a new additionh to his window- designed by me and my tastes but custom made by Kurt at Piggy and Dirt *etsy.  I love to gaze at his window, too.
His, country, cowboy, farm, outwest, Yellowstone bedroom now has a star with caramels and chocolates.
I asked Kurt, at Piggy & Dirt to do a custom star for me. For J.
I had a quote that I saw on the site revamped and put on there for, what I thought, J to read and find courage.
It reads:
"Replace your fear with Faith.
Trust God's power to guide you."
Maybe it is more for me to read. He, and this generation of kids have are going to go through a lot.
So I picked that for us to remember.
I like this saying....
my friend gave me for my birthday of a quote from Susan Branch's sticker in her winter packet for scrap booking.
One thing we can count on is Darkness coming. BUT there are safety nets set in place for us to find light in the dark.
I have strung lights in my room that can be dimmed and I have little lights to hit or turn on automatically if I get up in the night to light my way.
Thanks to my lights, the darkness doesn't overwhelm and it keeps me safe. Again, I have my stars up and I love the symbolism.

(Silve Easter Wreath using Piggy &Dirt)
*Just now I woke up with a sore throat from having to breathe through my mouth. Allergy season makes it a joy! Can't breathe through my nose. But this is common. I reached for a throat losenge that a dear friend, with Leukemia (she still is alive after 6 years battling it!).
I have been watching a documentary in my spare time called:Cancer, The Emperor of All Malodies.
(Auto-immune diseases must be the Emperoress.....)
In it I have learned that children with leukemia pioneered the way in the 60's for the medicines we have today.
Two doctors approached it with the idea of mixing two drugs, then four to attack the killer cells. This meant extra pain for these already dying, and suffering children.
 Some doctors couldn't bare to see it ethically, and held back.
Another doctor said that the march toward a cure meant having to test these meds-natural or synthetic.
It seemed cut throat to inflict on little kids but they are the ones who led to the answers and re-search, and meds that help to today's childhood leukemia patients.
Eventually one boy lived a year longer, then finally the firt ever, a girl, over came it and is alive today.
I found myself wanting to honor these children somehow. The many faces, and hurting little bodies. I wanted to hold each kid. I was stunned to find the first set of FOUR meds, called VAMP
 (6mp and prednisone are the last two.) 
to include two meds I have been on for my own auto-immune disease over the years and currently.
Which makes me wonder why I have been on such ancient medicine... but that is for another time to whine about.
 I will whine right now about nausea waking me and itchyness. ? I had P.T. yesterday and it wiped me out like a chemo session or something.
(a child expressing how I feel. wah.)
I have a theory that it releases the crapola in the muscles and has the same affect as anti-biotics releasing crapola after an infection. - and the theory of you feeling worse before you get better idea.
Like the "Herk" phenomenon in Lyme disease.
Just my ponderings in the middle of the night while I wait for the angels to gather and help me through the night. Thank goodness for naps. Took one earlier after the Scwann's man followed me home from P.T.
(Padre and I had been home for two seconds when they screeched around the corner! Their soup is so good and paired with some rolls- easy dinner meal.)
Talk about tears. I could empathize to a degree and feel horror as well.
 The show is online on PBS if you care to watch!
As much as I hate my situation, and the side effects of some things, along with the choices of others- I am glad to be a part of an ever marching army of people who HOPE to make it easier for others who must come along the same path.
My sister-in-law was just here to have her baby shower- she and my brother are bringing in a
BABY GIRL to this world soon- her name is Kali.
She [s-i-l, asked me with wide eyes if my disease was genetic.
ME: "Yes. " I said, then I looked down in shame or sadness.
 "But only by such and such percent if the parent has the disease."
I re-assured.
Kali's Star! The pink polka dots found their home: in Kali's nursery!
She looked sad, frightened. I wanted to re-assure her! Especially since the last twenty years have brought major innovations, people have tested out the pathway, and there is more on the horizon.
*(three nights ago.)
Last night, with the help of friends, J. got to scouts. When he came home he said something that made my heart flutter with hope!
"I sunk a three pointer playing some church ball. "
he replied wiping his crazy sweaty hair away from his face to eat a taco.
Readers, I love basketball. It is my favorite sport. Just recently, since I've had to go to P.T. on the other side of town, I've been able to sit in my grandpa's recliner and watch March Madness with my Grandma. (who has a binder to tell her when the Jazz play)
It's fun when your grandma, suffering from old age and Parkinson's can enjoy a good ball game.
(Even my 90 year old Grandpa gave up his good seat for me! After he mowed the lawn.)
(So this information made my heart leap! Another HOT PINK Piggy & Dirt star * find on etsy. headed to Kali's Nursery.)
J being on the slopes meant I wasn't feeling guilty about not making the stands. 0and that was fine but in my heart of hearts; I wished for the day when I could go watch him play again- hoping that I could sit in the stands and make it through a game!
Now all I have to do is go watch him at the church when I pick him up from scouts.
Really makes things easier. Thank you, church ball.
If only baseball season wasn't on the horizon........
The wind and snow came yesterday so there is no holding back the time to 'Play Ball!' the wind.

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