Sunday, November 23, 2014

Bundled & Marguarita was Its Name

(Me in years ago during the summertime. Not winter. And not with a Moon Face. I am missing one of my chins here.... Right now my comfy scarf is helping me to get cozy. )

Well, I am finally able to crawl on here and write something about something.
Hmm... I had something on the tip of my fingertips but can't recall it. Let's just say it is a good thing I started to get ready for Christmas, in August. It will take until Christmas for me to be ready for Christmas.

And the camera shots....  it's the usual sob story. I am not feeling awesome enough to pull it out. I know this sounds crazy. But the ocular pressure.... okay, okay. NO more excuses. Well, I will have to be the camera for you, Readers. For now. Just hold on. We are lucky to post tonight.

Oh, I grabbed my typewriter earlier to type out my Christmas message and the ribbon is dry. The ribbon needs to be replaced. Guess that's what happens. I will have to find someone who can take care of that ribbon or leave the typewriter for looks. I sorta liked that it could type out something.
I think I am hitting the pinnacle of this infection. HOwever, my ears are still hurting but it is only day two of the second anti-biotic. VERY CHILLY here in Idaho today. I ended up in flannel jammies, double by socks, and put on a favorite scarf. And waited. Until the chills stopped.

I'd told a friend that I loved that point when the Theraflu actually has kicked in, the honey is drizzling down your sore throat and your head, despite wanting to pop, feels that comforted, respite place.
Sure you are wearing outdoor clothing; scarf, knit hat, and your Sorels; but all is well. Right?

Oh, and let's not forget those congested orafices called sinuses in your face. Those are pulsing but at least you aren't in the ER getting fluids, right? Which leaves you plenty of time to read reviews.
Such as some for socks. One lady, whose handle was "sock lover" owned a pair of Smart Wool socks for 7 years, Readers. The name of the sock: Margarita.

Well, I googled them for her and they still make them.... just not on that site. If I can get 7 years out of a sock- heck, that's worth it to me! But I think after all my research, while bundled up in a lot of winter gear and sitting in my chair, Buck, I am going to buy the ' Darn Tough Vermont. See if it holds up to the reviews.

Why? I have to stay warm. My feet need wicking and I need to wear dumb braces. Not on my teeth but my feet. The wind has pretty much melted the snow down, made it so J. couldn't vacuum my car out, and made it seem dreary. Only dreary cause I was so looking forward to him cleaning out the car!

With the snow that fell on us, it felt festive and fun. Sorta. As festive as one can get when you are unable to participate in festive activities. That is why I had the time to take in a review or two.  I need to have J. read to me shortly. He's been great to have around lately. Well, he's been hiring out his services and that means he is wanting to earn money for something.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Prednisone Analogy I hadn't thought of

I read a comment that,  "a",  gave about how prednisone withdrawal and how it felt to him/he
(Prednisone gives one a moon face. This could make ya want to pull your face back like Senatro Kelly in X-Men)

"I felt like I was coming apart on a molecular level. Like Senator Kelly in X-Men when he imploded into a liquid."

Good analogy, "a". Mine was really long with the Everest dealio.

One good thing the Senator could do was squezze through prison walls- which would come in handy if the bars were prednisone and you could escape them that way!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

One Way in Which I Feel on Prednisone

Make a Book Page Wreath Inspired by Smith & Hawken

Well, I didn't duct tape my hands together, like I mentioned I would do in the previous post, so I was able to try and make a wreath involving a hot glue gun the other day. The day I promised to NOT do anything in order to save valuable energy. (no worries, it wasn't this one I made)

 (Also see past post on my glue gun experiences while being on prednisone. I have paper thin skin due to prednisone- not a good combo. And I haven't had any desire to use a glue gun until my skin was really thin. So the worst time ever to choose this. )

However, having  my hands free meant I could make it more easily to the bathroom the other morning after about three hours of waking up (after just barely falling asleep), taking my prednisone and needing to go but had to wait until my body could get there! Say that three times really fast!

(That is what a prednisone taper can do to you:  Keep you unable to move until you "unthaw". And making run on sentences. )

Once I was moving I knew I had to keep moving. So what did I do?

( I wish I could show you! Can't because taking pictures right now is too much.)\

Besides throw in some laundry, which wasn't smart cause it is heavy and hurts/blows veins but I was desperate; I crafted. Which is another prednisone side effect to those new Readers/Patients, etc.

I took the sliced Birch tree circles (from my Grandpa's tree and the neighbor's next door when they chopped theirs down) and made a small wreath out of it.


Cardboard and the glue gun. Yup, I pulled 'er out. Again. I had to see if it was true about this one wreath a blogger said would be taking a looong time to create a million rosettes and she promised it causing over 200k glue gun burns. Which was the part that sold me; the glue gun burns. Because only doing acts of stupidity can you really achieve the full gammit of Prednisone-ness Bliss. So I tried to make a rosette. I pulled a book from the shelf. Don't worry, it was an old one about Business Law; tore three pages from the index and drew a cyclone on it . Then I cut along the lines, started from the outside in and wrapped it tightly.

This was the part where the firing, scalding, lava hot glue gun came in handy. Guess what! She [the blogger]was right! I burned myself three times and it took about five minutes for me to get it how I wanted it. Which was perfect. So I had and am in the process of making a critical choice. Do I make a zillion of these or just 3? (to go on a gift for cuteness sake)

 I guess I am going to have to expect to finish it by next year's Christmas if I go with the zillion and all the burns. Oh! And now my return button won't work on my computer!That's right, Readers! This laptop has done its best. And is now apparently done. I was even going to share with you what the Survival book said in the first part of his book... (Mike Hawkes) But now I'm too discouraged.

Ah! I fixed it! (this was a few minutes/afternoon later, Readers. That's why I went back and added some stuff up above and I have the return button working.  But now I am too tired to write what he said.  It is evening and I am sure i used up my allotted cortisol just talking to Padre about technology, Nick at Best Made Co. about how axes are made from Appalacian Wood and other cool things, and making sure to drink a ton of water. From a mug. That I spill no less than five times a week in my bed. Because I cradle it to me sometimes and keep trying to push fluids..... I know I should just get my camelbak out but that is annoying to clean when ya don't feel well. ugh.....

If you are tapering from prednisone after a "short burst" be ready for some pain. I know I have told you all this and those of you who are here to see the wreath I made are sick of hearing it.

 Apparently ibuprofen helps. I can't take it cause of Crohns disease; makes ya go into a flare. Which, if you are a Crohns Diseased Reader you also share in this lament. And if you are dealing with asthma/asthma flare it sure would be nice to have the relief to those muscles involved.

It's a different day than above. It's early morning. One of those wake up and feel I made it and find out it is only 2:30, mornings. I have the racing heart. Not the one where you are nervous to run in your relay track event in junior high, but the one where you are just minding your own business and prednisone decides you need your heart to start racing like you were getting ready to get into the blocks for your track and field event.

It makes no sense. Whatsoever. And it hurts. Sure it is handy to have this response before running your race. It may actually help! But it doesn't help when you are given this random trial at least 50 times a day. It makes you have to settle it down. With meditation. Or possibly some yoga. Breathing slowly.

Readers, right now I feel like my legs have been beaten with a bat. I think I need to eat a banana. That bone pain is excruciating. And my feet. And it is sub zero outside. And inside my feet! Why? Prednisone.

Another horrible feeling is while one tries to ignore all this and go about all that, you have this feeling of being pushed forward. Going on fast forward in your brain because of the prednisone. But also this odd feeling of someone kind of pushing you in line and you can't move more than where you are so you are trying to stand your ground with someone trying to push you off balance.

As if you were top heavy and coming down a mountain way too quickly wearing a pack that is way too heavy and being chased by a Grizzly Bear. Along with this predicament prednisone places you in, there is this rushing feeling of what you would like to do. Or craft. Or just set some minor goals like attend Notre Dame. Or fill out scholarship apps when you are already done with college. For now.

Once off of prednisone you will look at some of the goals and wonder what you were thinking. Heck, you can still be ON prednisone and trying to eat your dinner from a semi- sitting up and sideways position and wonder: "How did I think I was going to make Thanksgiving dinner when I can't even eat sideways?"

A lot of women may ask themselves that question whether on prednisone or not. In fact, I am sure many women are already developing shingles through out the United States as they try to get ready for Thanksgiving,.

So I am up dealing with things on fast forward. I have looked at several wreaths online and thought how neat it would be to make some along with finish a pillow case along with start a gift for J. out of all his old shirts that he loves and won't let me give to D.I. or those in need because they have sentimental value.

And I hurt in my chest. This asthma thing along with the racing heart is uncomfortable and I can't find a comfortable spot. So I have read some. Looked at the Verizon bill Padre left on my dresser. and tried to start some Christmas cards. I am at a loss of words. Which is why I found that one quote to include in all my cards some posts back because I knew I would be at a loss around this time of tapering prednisone.

The one way I feel on prednsione that I can't get across to you due to the ADD induced side effect, is that it makes me feel mentally s-l-o-w-ed down. Yes, I said I felt like I was on fast forward. But the weird thing is it makes you feel really slow too. Almost as if you have been struck dumb like in ancient scripture or something.

I will do something that someone will say: "Hey! why don't ya do it like such and such!?" And I will sit there like Forrest Gump and blink and wonder the same thing. ESPECIALLY when it is something so obvious and logical. I feel dumb in those moments. Really dumb. Not embarrassed. At least not all the time, but literally dumbfounded. My brain reaches into all its stored memory, grasping for either a word or a phrase or an ability and it. isn't. found.

Talking with people I will come to a word that I can see in my head, but can't say. This really frustrates Jaden. I have to point at it or describe it like a game of charades. Or use this, that, and thing a lot. Which frustrates me. And I am forgetful. I will flip a time of an appt. in my head. Or the spelling of a word. Over and over. Phone numbers or addresses I once knew; gone. Off by the last couple digits. This happened to me when i worked as a broker years ago.

I started to notice I would have a form of dyslexia but with numbers and flip them. Usually in the last four. Is that not weird?

The feeling that I hate the worst is knowing that I won't be able to do what I have been doing. Soon. I will go back from being able to walk, write, read, or whatever and be in my state of inflammation before I was put on the prednisone. I won't be able to accomplish the goals I wrote down for myself when things were chipper on prednisone. Or the ones I wrote before this disease took its hold.

Which brings me to the fact that Time is important. And I realize that I actually have all the time I need to get done what needs to get done. The universe just works that way. After a few years on this trial I have come to see that there is a greater picture than the one I have painted for you.

Yeh, I may have to give up some things that would have been nice to do or have, but eventually, in the end, I will be compensated for it. Already seen it happen in my life over things I thought for sure would not resolve themselves and then they did. Many years later on some of that. But they did.

I know that my legs have felt this horrible before. That I have been very weak and unable to walk but slowly over time I regained this ability. Usually it isn't on my time table but I did. Heck, I was able to shovel a side walk a few years ago! (wait- I was on prednisone when that happened so technically it was with the help of prednisone. But still!) I guess I didn't realize the prednisone would stop "working." That the adrenals could handle that sort of thing on and off for only so long.

Which is hard to think about right now. There are just some things I want to do..... like go sledding. Or skiing with J. Not just ride in a car up to the lodge and sit and knit (can't even do that right now)
But really SKI! Really get out there and sled down a hill and climb back up it.

(J. is way taller now and doesn't even need help hardly! How did this happen so fast?? Wow. )

So the irony of this evil drug is that despite feeling ancy and my heart racing and ready to go- I can't go. Anywhere. Except here. I can make things and create a feeling and atmosphere for the house and yard and for my son. I can help him with his homework and read. But I can't volunteer. Or sub teach. Or even finish some projects cause I got too many going and left them for Padre to inherit.

Wish he'd inherit this post cause I'm done. bluh. I've got that feeling like you have when you need to sweat out a fever. Maybe next time I will get around to writing from that survival book.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Stayin' Alive

Well, the Survival book I bought J. and I to read has already helped us.

Dan Gregory's photo.
I mentioned in the last couple of posts something about what he said about attitude and not wasting your energy on negativity cause you are gonna need it.

(Picture courtesy of Dan Gregory- say this in your best Irish/Scottish accent then it's fun like the color and look of these buildings.... thanks Dan. When I am sick, art helps me work through it all.)

Now I will just quote it word for word cause his words are better than mine. As are Dan Gregory's pictures. Why? Well, for one he has already taken them and I can just copy past from his facebook page. And 2. They are amazing and I can't hike to those places unless a heli takes me.
(this is really cool, Dan, ......... good thing I can just put his photos in for now. whew. I am tired already cause typing hurts the chest cavity that holds together everything underneath that is not holding together. weird.  I know.)
So three or four birds with one stone- you, Readers, get a visual.  Dan's photos area amazing,
And that makes it so I can focus on
and not taking pictures for right now.
 Why? It' s D day. Drop day. Yup. That asthma attack and flare I am having we are seeing if I can go from HIGH to the original at the beginning of this week. In two hours I could be unable to lift my head up.
So let's get copy pasting shall we?
(this reminds me of when I threw shot put. I was so embarrased to throw. My bones were giving me havoc back in Jr. High and so I had to stop running the 400. I could throw pretty far so I did that and actually went to state. I weighed 127. One other gal from school, who is not a vet and looks to be leading a very active life style, was strong too and she threw. Thank heavens. I didnt' get how some of the BIG girls could throw so dang far. It's all in the wrist. shh. don't tell.)
(Dan's shot put at the Highland Games is a rock it looks like. But he has the form. Good job, Dan. If I had never gotten sick, I wonder if I'd have done this..... hmm. dunno.)
Oh, and writing Hawke's (the Green Beret who wrote the survival book) words.
I would have J. do the typing but he is shoveling off the tramp. Actually sweeping it off, a shovel would ruin it. AndThat's right, we still have the tramp  up cause I thought we had more
it snowed. !!!!!!!!
 We got DUMPED on in IF this week. Which is fine except when you have a ton of errands across town and everyone forgot to slow down a bit on the first snow fall of the year and some either drive off the road or rear end you. Lots of that happening.

It just takes that first snow fall.......It doesn't look like it will melt any time soon- it's frigid here. Minus something. I put two extra blankets over me this morning cause I ate and that makes my body cold.
And Targhee opens in 5 days J. tells me.
I am getting shaky, Like I drank way too much coffee. Great. I don't even drink coffee.

Seamless & Steadfast Tall Enamel Tumblers  (Set of Two)

(cool enamel ware from

We gotta hurry this post up.
Cause it isn't "mind over matter" in the case of prednisone. You just use up your daily allotment if you do too much. you should have minded matters.

 So ya gotta really pace yourself.
Where is that survival book?

* Okay, I found it as I come back to add to the post at 9 pm. I have made it through the drop day. Tomorrow is when it will REALLY be bad. My feet are burning. I can feel the fasciitis pain in a big way. I am grabbing the ice packs. See bottom for page 31 of Hawkes book under the section called:
'Preparation at Fort Living Room.'

 Bury the Needle
(gonna need some courage in the next little while. Photo courtesy
Welp, J. took it to read somewhere and it is lost in the vortex which is our lives. I just got an email from CEO, Peter, at Best Made Co. (don't worry it is just the computer generated one)
But he said he'd send an email each week to help encourage us peeps to get outside and around a campfire; he'll keep his end of the bargain by making the best products and then he wants to know how we use them. Or use our time.
Time is an interesting thing.
I recall a time when I had never been on prednisone. Did you know the withdrawal effects are compared to heroin? I remember a time when I learned about drugs and not to do them. So I didn't. Readers, if you are anywhere within the sound of my raspy, Doc Holliday coughing, eroded gastro tract voice: DO NOT DO HEROIN.
If it is true that the withdrawal is like the withdrawal of that..... you will only find the most painful experience in your life. Prednisone saved mine. The price I get to pay is going through something I was taught to stay the heck away from. It seems cruel, eh? But not really. I owe my life to the small little tablets that some have called:
Satan's Tic Tacs.
I laughed so hard when I saw that poster on pinterest for auto-immune disorders. Then I gave it some time to sink in and that just seems dead serious.
Tic Tacs are so good. One isn't enough. But if they whatcha- mah- who's--- yikes. That would be- THAT IS
one nasty tasting Tic-Tac. No thanks. But wait! I HAVE to freshen my breath with these babies from now til a loooongg time! Why? Cause my adrenal glands have been on them too long.

Waxed Canvas Travel Zip-Case
 (love this journal)
I know none of you young Readers will listen to me say:
Stay Away from Heroin! Or Stay Away from Drugs!
You'd say I was a hypocrite or something. Readers, I honestly know that prednisone withdrawal is so painful- it actually causes pain before you withdraw. Bone pain. It eats at the muscles. It does something to the hippocampus.....
It hurts. But it helped me stay alive...... how can I hate something that gave and gives me a life?
How can I hate being able to watch my son?
Neal A. Maxwell said our last relationship with adversity will be gratitude. Yes, one day I will be grateful for what I go through today. And tomorrow. And yesterday. And the last twenty years of known Crohns Disease.

Be Optimistic Felt Badge
*Thanks Best Made Co.
P.S. if you or someone you know or your dog has Crohns- it is different for everyone. And I have been on immuno-suppressing meds that are relatively new for twenty years and am suffering from the ramifications of that.
And the rams of disease prorgression, where it is at. I am on a new med now. It was made in Japan.
No one on the net is able to tell you or I yet what it does. Kinda like on the new Spiderman when the guy doesn't know how his body will take blood type of Peter's lineage.
Which makes me think of the Cushingoid Syndrome and how my body looks these days. I wish I had a swimming pool of my own so I could go swim. Not cause I am embarrassed of my striaed body. I am proud of those bruises and marks- those were hard earned, Readers!


okay, that was earlier this morning too. Before the shock my system took at only getting the dosage I was at 5 days ago. It is so hard to go from something to nothing. It is painful. I am trying to take it a moment at a time.

C.C.G.F. Badge Set

Fast prednisone bursts are great at first. I could finally breathe through the horrible lung problem. I was so grateful to have those breathing treatments. I think of all the things that I have suffered and then quickly recoved from was the gift of good Oxygen. It was almost wet to my palette..... I cried tears of gratitude. So glad I went into the ER for help cause I was struggling.

I am praying that I don't run into any problems in the the next 24 hours that send me back as far as the asthma goes.

I have the prednisone headache. I feel a lot of the places that I injured in the last few weeks.
I need to upload some funny pics of the skeleton that we took so I could recall where all I was hurt.
I feel confident in many of the nurses, doctors, P.A.s that work for my good.

Metal First Aid Kit [small]
(let's give a good shout out to all those back east on White Street who are making things us Idahoans love for the outdoors. When ya can get out and around a campfire. )

One nurse had a son going through being on prednisone and tapering and she just "got it."
I have been blessed to read a bit from other's experiences. No two are alike but we are all human and our suffering hurts no matter where it comes from.

Too tired to write what Hawkes said. I am just going to use that duct tape trick I was planning on using on J. to keep him from snooping out gifts and  use it on myself. So I can't make any more wreaths, ornaments, or write. I just have to lay here and let my adrenal glands remember what to do.

Gastric Acid on Vocal Chords, Sitz Baths & Serfs

Photo History: Well, I don't know. But I found This photo from: Danielle Resenski has endured so much and she has a lot of information that she has provided us folks on her site.

This photo is one of them. Poor dog!

She has even spoken at an Ivy League school to empower future doctors, endos, and future professionals about what to look for.

So, Dogs and horses get cushings and this picture is I wish I had this dog's courage to stand for the photo shoot.... I am really impressed with this blog and the great information that the blogger has provided.

Back to my blog......

This morning I awoke to a half viewed video on the effects of gastric acid on the vocal chords on my lap top along with a bunch of different files for different things I am studying. Vocal chords are fine by the way. Sinus infections, asthma, and acid from the gut all play a role in raspy voices. But my chords will be fine and I will be singing off tune again shortly.

However, my search falls into that category that I said I would tell you every so often of:

 'What I googled,'

As one of the high lights I could do like Dave's "Top Ten" or Ellen's, uh, when she has people send in what the smart phone edits for them, what does she call it? -hey, that gives me an idea....
(P.S. I hate having to edit my text messages for my smart phone mistakes...)

(photo courtesy of Dan Gregory. A random pic of him on Aconcagua)
Anyway, I am writing to tell you that a sore throat and sinus infection can be an Entyvio side effect, can lead to sitting up while sleeping; needing a hose to clear a pathway for air and is really, really not fun.

So, "not fun", that the recommendation to "gurgle salt water" may have you simply reaching for the
Epsom Salts


 that are meant for sore muscles in the bath; applying to bruises with Vicks to help circulation and pain, and to help with Sitz Baths and gurgling the diamond sized granules to pull the junk out of the throat.

Btw, do you even know what a sitz bath is? I didn't and totally nodded and lied when my GI asked if I did. (this was years ago but I'd had Crohns for some time..... I just figured you put some Epsom salt into an inch of water in the bath tub. Nope. Sadly that is too easy)

Sitz Bath Definiton:
these are something the GI tells you to do- or an OB after you have a child  because some damage to both places took place, and you just nodded like you know what you are doing. Like you would know what to do when you left the hospital with a newborn. Even if  you did graduate in Child Development. Why don't they send nurses home with you on your first one!? Just so you don't get so stressed out??

 So ya lie that you know what a Sitz bath is, When you didn't. Here is what it meant and what I should have done.

You have to buy a 20-30 $  Plastic Basin, sandwich it inbetween the seats of the toilet, fill what looks like an IV bag but flimsier, with warm water and Epsom salts, hang the bag  from a high place in your bathroom and connect it to the basin. This too looks like an IV pole.

 Upon completing these steps  you are to  sit on your basin and water will overflow through a gap provided around its edge and overflow into the toilet much like the holes in a sink or tub. And this si is part of Sit "z" in "Sitz Bath."
Vintage Norway Poster that I would love and reminds me of their saunas... which are NOT sitz baths.

It isn't a true "bath". Which throws people. It will take TWO times of filling the Epsom Salts and the Warm water to add up to TWENTY MINUTES of sitting. If that is what your Dr. has ordered. Which makes you wish you could take a bath. And that is why they call it a Sitz Bath. Because you have to do this 3 to 4 times a day to help promote healing.

(Hey! A Norwegian submerssion in cold water may take the place of the Sitz Bath- and just HEAL you right there with cauterizing cold!

(taken from of some Finlan Swimming...)

Another reason they call it a "bath" is because  you will need a book to pass the time. And most people enjoy a nice paperback book to read while taking a bubble bath. Pick a book no one wants to read. But guess what! They should cause, No one Left Behind (get it? Behind? ) is an awesome book about preparedness in an emergency situation. It is about a hospital's handling of Hurricane Katrina.
 (I know, I know you won't read it based on that. Nurses, janitor's, patitients, etc. all have quotes in it. I don't know if they have Ebola quotes in it but it is about Hurricane Katrina and one hospital's bad A approach to the whole thing. I love that I said that: Bad A. It's ranks up there to deserve me trying to swear on my blog.)

Where was I? Aw vocal chords. Guess what? They are affected by prednisone. Yeh! I know I totally left it out of last week's analogy up on Everest.

(This is what it would look like. But this is Dan Gregory, not me. And it's a real trip and not an analogy of Everest. Have you climbed Everest, Dan? hmmm. I should ask him in person. )

Your VOCAL CHORDS are affected by the stuff. Not just your hyped up Everest trip but prednisone.

When I went hoarse after what I thought was mere drainage and sinus congestion and debated just gurgling the Epsom Salt Crystals, I experienced the point in which those things, along with sub 2 degrees weather and asthma collide:
An "asthma attack" is not fun!

In fact, it isn't. It just makes climbing Everest pretty darn miserable because if you were on top of there when it happened- your rescue inhaler wouldn't work. Too cold. So remember Apoo, the fictional Nepalese guide you acquired through a fictional blog to help you summit Everest in your attempt to compare it to tapering prednisone? Well, he comes back to life in this post and says:

(photo courtesy of Dan Gregory on his Aconcagua hike. I had a friend go there when we were hanging out and I was sorta scared for him. But he lived. )

"I left your inhalers along with the extra oxygen by Green Boots! The place I lost your Padre's McManus book! "  he says downtrodden. "And your Epi-pen won't help because it is frozen. But you just need more prednisone is all! It will help you with the delivery of your child, the speed at which you can get around the mountain, and set up your tent. At first!"

(Dan Gregory and his photos of great vistas have inspired me! Thanks, Dan)

And he will nudge your doctor acquired from Kathmandu who has amazingly figured out how to get a vein at this altitude and fill you full of IV prednisone. Or Solumedrol. What????? This truly does help with what Apoo says you gotta do. And apparently is part of the tapering prednisone package as you have been coughing with your infection and you are basically just wheezing through a straw because your lungs are diminished at the altitude you are at and should have taken into consideration before you climbed your analogy. And before you fell. And before you went to the hospital to do labs because that is where you sat parked and waiting to get out when you were hit by a truck.

Back up on the Everest tapering of Prednisone story from a previous post, you now have to endure a quick dose of prednisone which makes you have to go HIGHER up on prednisone. In order to get off of it. Which makes no sense. And you can't have a sitz bath at this altitude because the water is hard to melt over a small stove fast enough before you have to get up and move three feet and pitch your tent again.
(taken from

And a frozen Sitz Bath just doesns't work.

So,  Readers, I am out of ideas on what to make us do on our fake Everest trip in order to liken it to a mountain expedition and how hard it is to taper prednisone. I guess I could say you get bottle necked on the Hillary Step and end up making your own steps. 

I could throw in an Avalanche?

But then I would have to read about it from some climber's or Apoo's fictional blog.

I could rack my brains for something funny. But that isn't happening after the Dr. ordered me to add not only more prednisone but an inhaler to boot. And rescue inhaler every four hours. This is starting to sound like J.'s sick days.

Speaking of J. -isn't it lovely that a plus sides to having off-spring is that you have an immediate servant?

Well, after teaching them to eat, walk, bath, dress, learn a couple languages, clean up puke from orifices like your ears and from your long hair you cut recently cause on prednisone.

 Which you'd grown from being really long and pretty from the last time you were on prednisone. Of course You have to teach them to work and THEN you can tell them what to do when they say they want money.

And that is when you have an immediate serf.

Just pull out the "To Do List" you wrote before giving birth, heck, the one you wrote in Sr. Year Honors English Class! And  have them start doing that! They need their youth for the goals you put in that letter!

 And pay them.

I know! It makes them think they should graduate with a Master's just for money... Just don't tell the minimum wage right now and they will not know the difference until they apply for a job at 16, and then you an tell them they are earning less due to inflation and bad financial decisions made on everyone's part.

And, Readers, if you see your neighbor mowing their lawn after an Asthma Attack+ Prednisone Rescue, don't stop them just because it snowed a couple of inches the night before because Padre's mower is industrial strength and can run through anything. It may as well say it is fueled by Prednisone."

 Your neighbor might not recognize you are trying to help, and don't realize yet that prednisone is a

big band aid

and they still have ALL their symptoms. They may possibly have amnesia, be mis-informed and told Prednisone works like Voo-Doo magic which they contracted when they flew to Dallas on a business trip and decided to go to the hospitals instead of the Alamo for a tour

So now, back home, they suddenly felt like mowing in the snow to pass the time before the holiday rush.

Yeh,  before they coudln't walk and they missed it so much, they wanted to mow the lawn using their Trekking Poles and singing through their face mask used to block the hail storm beating them in the face and not necessarily prevent any allergens worsening their asthma. Did you know that asthma allergens are in the winter months too? I sorta thought it was Spring Vacation for Asthma... but I guess not! GREAT! Just a tid bit for all those in our family that have the bad gene. And for the nephews who are allergic to their animals. And the kid of mine allergic to his job as a mower.

Readers, this shot of him by this mower has more stories and never gets old to look at it. I need it framed. His cousins look on in wonder..)

 Because the Dr. ordered that the Serf-child can't mow due to his allergy to grass and his sickness, your neighbor may be desperate to get the grass winterized before the REAL Idaho winter sets in. None of this cold weather, "hey, it's a good day to wear one of those [cheery chemo mask]" moments.

This actually happened today folks! It is SO cold in Idaho, so it is perfectly acceptable to say to a masked person:
"Hey, good day to wear one of those!"
(this only blocks out dust and maybe some cold air. not the one I wore. But mine is cute.Upload later)
*I am Idahoan and don't mind comments and ya know that one made me pause, cause if you are needing to wear a mask to keep from getting sick; I don't know of many 'good days to wear it.'
Unless it is 2 below Zero.
Then, yeh, she had a point. My cute and cozy fun mask Care sent me a few years ago, was perfect. As I hadn't broke out my fleece scarf yet.
And the air is

Which is hard on asthma. Which I had an attack the other night and J. helped me realize it was an asthma attack. Thank you, Son. You are the best.
And thank you lung specialist who gave me breathing treatments.
Oh, my. Air is right up there next to money, ya know?
Ya just need it.
So it was a good idea that
and not get yelled at in some NY city fashion, or roaded with rage like a Utah driver for driving the speed limit in the construction zone. Yup, we Idahoans don't care if you comment on our mask wearing. I don't. Don't be afraid to look and say hi. Rather than that "look" then quick look away cause you don't want to stare- well, ya do, but not be rude. We all wonder what people's deal is. We care that's why. And we don't know what a person is doing and inquiring minds wanna know so that we can care..


So you will have to teach him how to do things that you want to learn to do, like sewing a quilt for instance. Or how to do origami. Or wrap Christmas gifts and draw cute things on the packages cause he will be bored and have energy on prednisone. You may consider taking him to Driver's Ed so that he can run errands for you while you are tapering off of prednisone, pioneering Entryvio, and prepping for a really expensive trip to Mt. Everest.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

The Worst Feeling & J's Santa Letter

1. When you wake up and everything feels normal until you realize: it isn't- and you remember why.
It is usually accompanied with a swollen nasal cavity from crying yer sorry self to sleep. Or you had sinus surgery. And tried not to cry. Cause that makes it worse.

The "Worstest"  could be something as trivial as thinking you made it through the night when really it only 2:30 and you have the rest of the night to be alone with your alone-ness and on prednisone-ness.
And your body hurts in more ways than one.

That's actually not the worst feeling.

It's one. What adds insult to injury about sleeping and waking to Worse is it always involves forgeting, waking up like usual, and thinking everything is actually fine and your body for a split second does too, then it remembers and tells your brain which tells your heart and..... bluuuuhhh.

Or maybe it is all physical. There is a millisecond of alm then the pain screeches in passed your sub-con. and  fills your whole being! Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean Owieeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How does that work anyway- calm then BAM; instant shock... ?

There have been moments lately when I have woken from a nap even and thought all was okay and then thought of a friend. And realized all wasn't okay and I ached for her. Then another friend needed aching for and it was time to strap on the bare another's burden back pack. This one is actually heavy. You wouldn't think it because, technically it isn't YOUR problem, but somehow it is if you care for the people with the problem.
And then it IS your problem if ya love 'em.
Cause your heart hurts. So ya carry that and theirs with you in your little burden bundle and carry on.
Until you can maybe have someone shoulder it and carry it with you. That's a diff. post. special for Christmas.

 This one needs to stay on track with "The Worst Feeling" to really wallow in it! In a good, fun, happy way!

2. Another worst is when you are AWAKE and you think to yourself:
"This can't be happening. It has to be a dream."

But you are awake and, therefore, it is not! Like you lost your wallet. Or someone stole your wallet. From your purse inside your garage- (this really happened to a friend, Readers. ALWAYS lock your doors, even at the gas pump. )


you overslept on a test day.


 just overslept the alarm clock and it's not the weekend like your dream told you.
Don't you hate when dreams lie?

 Like when they make you think you did your morning routine and then the alarm goes off after being snoozed for a few minutes and you haven't showered, blown your long hair dried, hot ironed it, put on make-up at all! You are in bed still!


Side note here: I feel really stiff in my head and neck right now. I thought that was what was supposed to be helped at an appt. yesterday. I am keeping strict notes on massage therapy, acupuncture, self help books, yummy food and whatever else that needs to have some data and documenting as to what helps. (It was 2:30 a.m. when I started this. And all we had going for us was flu shots under belts, procedures, and possibly some work with the snow fall. For J. not me.)

And I am trying to drink A LOT of water so I can go to the bathroom cause in my dreams I dreamt that I was doing plumbing work that I had to fix and Padre wasn't around or something.  This dream must have come about because J. had a stomach ache last night and was thinking of throwing up. Or maybe I was thinking he was gunna hurl. So I had hoped he would do it in the toilet before it was in the middle of the night. Cause being woken up to needing to clean up puke isn't fun. (But I am already up...)

 Instead he took a bath and a bucket was put by his bed. And I tried to help him get through the stomach pain but secretly was hoping that he wouldn't throw up anywhere but the toilet.

I know I am rambling because it is the middle of the night, I don't feel good, and my friends probably have their phones on silent. Kidding! I wouldn't call or text you in the middle of the night on a school day! sheesh, friends! Okay, maybe if it was really bad, I would.

What else was I going to blog about? I know I could work on a craft but you see, I can hardly type. So this is a bonus, Readers. WE have to find a way til morning that doesn't involve wrapping yarn around anything. So the wait until when I take the now higher dose of prednisone (due to the asthma attack a few days ago.) then things might feel a bit better. Yuck. I just have to say that. Yuck. The taste of that med makes my nausea worse. Hey, that is another worst: Nausea. Trade it for pain any day. Sorry for you who get nauseated while pregnant. Or while driving in a car. Or riding in a car. Doesn't it just feel so much better to throw up?

Not the coolest topic, but it is something that is a relief. When you are sweating out a fever, the pulsing of poison in your body and then finally it leaves. Briefly. Like waves it comes back, but for that brief, post puke moment, the floor of the bathroom cool to the touch (and sanitary we'll pretend), is the best feeling. I wish I could feel like that. I wonder if I went and just laid down on the cold bathroom floor..... if it was mopped. Darn.

That ranks up there with having your child. (Not mopping but the good feeling and sense of relief) Seeing your child overcome something hard. Any child for the empty nest people. AND it ranks up there with having a hot bath. wow. Those are so nice. Especially if it's cold and you have arthritis. Sad that cold has to do things to our bodies. But in Idaho it is cold so we have charachter.

Am I still rambling?

 Here is something non-ramblish.

J's letter to Santa.

It was so cute.

(like J. 7 years ago. We should dress him up like this for the Thanksgiving dinner this year!)

As you know I am trying or do try to make it look festive with my decor or just be festive. Maybe some of you accomplish this with a pair of holiday socks. For me, I try to do something totally beyond my physical ability, so I can be sicker during the holidays. (see past posts)

The reason he wrote a letter was because her knows Santa suffers from amnesia. And he is now entering into the stage where you stop writing letters but his mom still sings:
: "Ya better watch out....."  if she suspects poor behavior.

And if he gets mad, Readers, well I tell him that unbelievers get underwear. And believers do too but they get more than just that! I told him to wish away! Write or jot down his deepest wants in life, Readers! Why?

Because I forgot how to look on the bright side of things lately and needed to do just that and when I did, it made me feel better.   It made me feel happy to think that this life isn't just to be endured, but enjoyed! Yes, let's be frugal and use our noodles! But why can't we write down what we really want?
Or say it?

Don't Beauty Pagent girls want things really far from reach, too. Like world peace? I know that's an old one but they wanted it and said it as their platform.

Okay, where is J's letter? Ah, on the back of my computer where he taped it so it wouldn't get lost.

Dear Santa,

               I really want an ax this year in brown and black. I want to try and do better and treat my mom nice. I really like to cut wood for fires when I'm camping.



Cute, huh? (there is more to the list but for this post I summed up.) I need to read him the short story of McManus' about the Christmas Hatchet. He's already gone through one hatchet acquired from a Mountain Man Rendezvous and that isn't lookin so hot. It was actually just for that- lookin' at. But he wanted to put it to use after watching them throw them at a target. A lot of people come out to those Yellowstone Rendezvous and it really makes it hard to distract a kid when you drive by it on the way to a destination or your camping spot. (The tents are huge!)

It even makes them re-inforce why you should have let them get a full leather buckskin outfit like Lewis and Clark. "See? This is one of the times they could have worn it!" is their rationale. I just tell the kid to keep his rations to himself cause the people selling their wares at those places work on Wall Street in the off Mountain Man Season.

The hatchet also made me recall an accident involving the small, portable hatchet when we were half way through a week long hike. We had started on the Jackson side of the Tetons and were half way to the Driggs side.

It was one of those beautiful days when the sun is shining, you are playing amongst the flowers, etc. and someone hollers out in pain. Which leads to the third worst feeling I am thinking of tonight. (I forgot to number the other ones that I added up there so just pretend we can count.)

3. Yup, one of the teens was chopping wood and hit himself in the shin with the ax. Great. Luckily we had a Dr. with us- a dentist. And there were plenty of men that knew how to fix him up, but there was talk of carrying him out on a mummy bag improvised as a stretcher.

So when I read letters to Santa like that- I think of worst case scenarios.

Another bad feeling is being on prednisone - or worse, learning you will have to go on it again and feel that feeling. I didn't know it would last over three years. wah.

hmmm... what else can I put down?

Oh, it snowed really bad yesterday and that meant a lot of people off the road. We all think that it is okay to drive the same and forget how to drive in snow even though it was just summer when we had to. Or feels like it.

We actually saw, off the highway, a Ford Explorer had slid off and "jumped" the high barb wire fence and was sitting on top of some rusted out cars. It wasn't even close to the Sunnyside exit and here we were with flashing lights from a cop car, flashing cones so we could see it in the blizzard like wet snow flakes falling down, and we had to slow down to get the whole wreck situation assesed. Well, that was Padre's idea. He was driving me. Which I was glad. However, we could have had our truck to drive in this weather had we not been hit by another truck. While we were parked. And they just rammed into us like they didn't see us and we coudln't have been more obvious. And you don't go backwards through a round about at the hospital. ???? I'm still confused on this worst feeling.

Which made it so I was going to ANOTHER Dr. appt. and we were NOT in our truck.

The number 1 worst feeling involves kids. When they are lost, not found, hurt, or whatever. I can endure a lot of things but when it comes to a hurt kid...... folks that takes the Worst Feeling Cake.

Once we lost my little sister in an amusement park. I prayed right there in the jumpy house that I'd seen her last. I went about that park- by myself, oddly enough, and searched for her. Luckily, we found her. Padre even took us to McD's afterward.

Another Worst.......

Is simply being unable. Unable to go outside and snowblow side walks with Jaden. Well, he doesn't need my help anymore. He knows how to start it, etc.

(had to start him out early cause he had so many things he liked to do. I helped him a lot. So glad he can see over the bar of the mower now.)

-Being unable to take a new shirt and put it in a bucket of cold water and vinegar to shock the color so it lasts longer. I know. Who does that ? Martha Stewart or someone. I read about it and have used it and it seems to keep my shirts brighter. As I tried to hold the bucket beneath the shower head it got heavy at the two inch mark. I know. I used to bench 135. Well, once. I did it once. Now my right forearm, even with a brace, is so pathetically wimpy!!

Really, all ya can do is laugh at this point. Ya know? We read the Preface and first chapter of the Survival book. It totally pertained to a conversation with J. tonight.

I am throwing my wishes out there just cause-
I want new veins for Christmas.
I wish I could cross country ski with my kid.
I want to be off prednisone and if not, have the courage to endure it.
I want to learn to sew great stuff.
I want to make a wreath with a million rosettes of an old book. Some in different colors.
I want

Tonight I am REALLY looking forward to reading a book with him written by a guy who is or was a Green Beret. Had a tough life but it is a survival book. Not like the TV survival stuff where they drop you in a bikini in the middle of Finland- but real life survival.

J. will love it, I think. It had high ratings.
Swimming Pool - stained glass star 6 inches aquamarine, turquoise, green glass
I also am looking forward to this star made by Piggy and Dirt. Jaden liked it and it goes with our theme for the year: All is Well. The blue is like water and the pioneers that we have been reading about had to cross a lot of cold rivers. Just having Idaho dump snow on us makes me think of these people and the sacrifices, fears, and perserverance. I am glad he picked this out. He doesn't know he is getting it as a gift for Christmas. In fact, if he did he would wonder what in the world I was thinking using precious money that could go toward something that he REALLY loves.
But I am sentinmental. And I want him to remember these people when he sees it!


Wulp, this is how tonight went- hard day for me, sister came to help me out, and then there was the meltdown of emotion. for J.
this is how it went:

We read Hawkes book and the number one rule is: Never Give Up. And he talks about how negativity is a waste of much needed energy. I about whipped out a scripture marker for some of the paragraphs Jaden read aloud to me.

(years ago, when I could rake and be out in the yard and garden. That's a wish for this year!)

Things I am sitting here wishing I had done; taken a Calligraphy Class.
New pillow case out of cute citrine material.

I am so grateful for what I have. Despite being up for nearly a day now, unable to swallow without pain and the tissue in my mouth on down feeling like it is on fire- I am here. I am making it.
And later today I will ask J. to upload pics for me. Or Padre. Maybe he will take some for me.
Ugh. I might as well do my morning regimen.

Need to rest! Pictures later... as soon as I can train Jaden to put picture on here that he has taken and can ghostblog! Wouldn't that be a great feeling?

Thursday, November 13, 2014

No Place Left to Hide... Gifts?

As kids age, it gets harder and harder to find a spot to hide gifts.
And I don't mean just your own kid, I am talking mankind's kids. Kids have access to all sorts of things... games that are pointless, games that simulate real flying and certify you to fly for Delta after so many hours and online libraries -Right at their finger tips!

You can imagine my down troddeness when J. wanted to do some freelance chores to earn money and I said:
"Well, grab that box in my closet and put it together"
 and he said:

" You want me to put my gift together?"
Me: a little surprised but  Grinch-ishly quick, slyly replied:

"You think that's for you?"

J: "Well, I  asked for one."

ME:" Yeh, that's how I knew what to tell Granma and Padre to get the other boy grandchildren your age. And anyway, do you know how hard it is for Santa to put stuff together in one night? "

J: "uhhhh."

ME: "This will be a good service op for you to put something together for someone else!"

I let there be silence *cause I heard that's a good way to teach a point*; To just sit there a minute.

And I had to find the stool I originally wanted him to put together for me. Once that was found I told him to go ahead and put it together. Which he couldn't. Because something is wrong with how they made it. I even tried. We have one exactly like it; made already and so, yeh, all that work for seemingly nothing.

Making mistakes or doing something for nothing is rarely for naught. I've learned it helps you learn a lot of patience. That or it sharpens your vocabulary. And it ruined the joke I was going to play on him when he opened some gifts that were just wrapped for decoration.... So now I gotta un-wrap those, find something small to put in the bigger boxes, and re-wrap them.

Well, it taught me that Santa's Elves sometimes make mistakes and then ya have to send it back and get them to send the right thing. And that means standing in a line somewhere. Which might not happen if you are wearing a Hazmat Suit and it's been over 30 minutes. (They can only work 30 minutes with those on cause it is so hot, sweaty and cumbersome. It is like running a marathon/Ragnar/and climbing Mt. Everest in 30 minutes. So there's NO WAY that stool is getting returned before Christmas.

Padre might be right. Buying from somebody that you can actually go over to and hand them the device is priceless. And speeds up your return.

I wish it were like in the olden days. When I visited my Grandma's house (and Grandpa - but it's always to Grandmother's house we go.... ) she had a table set up downstairs. It was her gift wrapping station. I have no idea or recall what my grandmother gave me; it didn't matter. All I remember was that the gifts were wrapped with such care and detail, that it looked like myrrh was wrapped in it. Or a little shepherd boy leading the way to the newborn babe....

It was divine.

They made ribbon worth twirling back then. Never did the scissors fail and give a flat twirl. No, each was as springy and curly Q-ed as Nellie Olson's hair on Little House on The Prairie.

Grandma could splice ribbon, make it bunch up like new shoveled snow that reached the roof tops back in those Idaho Falls winters of the 70's. The paper wasn't flimsy and if it was, she made sure she delicately wrapped that vintage paper to the best of her ability. Heck,, it could have been paper from when she opened her gifts as a girl because, back then, you opened it with a knife. So it didn't ruin the paper.

And you KEPT that paper. Can you imagine the eye googling they would find if they saw us tear open an iphone mega watt 16 thousand and ruin the box? yeh, Padre would have a conniption. But it just seems the reason for that wrapping station was to slow ya down. Not hustle through the season but ponder the lists that had been written, the letter from your son in Vietnam, and maybe just some time to yourself to be creative.

I find myself yearning for this creative time. Unfortunately one of the things that I found that called out my name involves a lot of glue. The hot kind. And newspaper. Got plenty of that. I only have to make a thousand rosettes. Simple, huh? Actually you could use an old book but that makes me nervous. I don't like to ruin books. even from the library sales!

So back to gift hiding- I have the solution: Duct Tape. Just grab their arms and, using the duct tape much like rope, tie your best scout knot that you can find online and then put the tape over their eyes. No peeking! For good measure put some over your own mouth so you don't spill the beans either.

I gotta bolt. Upload pics when I can. I have another post almost ready. But it needs tweaking. Pray Padre will just take some pics for me and upload them! Gosh! Oh, and that he will set up a little work station for me to wrap gifts. I have been using the ironing board and am really glad to get some use out of it. ha, ha. Kidding. It actually is small and compact and with a table cloth looks like decor.

J. wrote a letter to Santa after I told him the about 'Believing.' And Wishing. Even if there is NO chance you will get it- put it on a list and you might be surprised. Or either end up making your own wish come true.

 He got right to it and so did I. I got on my knees and asked God specifically for what I wanted. His letter got taped to my computer so I could send it to Santa. My nephew visited, read a book with me a long with J's letter and asked if he could come here and write a letter to Santa.

He must think I have an in with the Post Office delivery to the North Pole.

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