Friday, February 28, 2014

SKI? Honesty is the Best Policy!


Readers! Boy, do I have some good news typing outta these frozen fingers of mine. It's one about me (come to think, all of them are. ha, ha! )

being really

put out

and then being


about some good customer service. Not just prednisone swinging me.

When you have multiple diseases, or not, that is always a good thing. Here's the story.:

Well, J. took up some new sports.
changed from boarding to skiing mid child-hood. That always makes a parent smile, right?

AS if  every day J. grows isn't enough!  How many times do you get them shoes that fit and then they are complaining cause their toes are getting street burn? I know. Super annoying. But I guess I did decide to have him and learned in college that babies do grow.  psh.

So winter comes and he needs a coat. He gets one. It's bulky. He skis in it and is fine. But it is bulky and he can't do tricks, like fall down the mountain as easily in a bulky coat vs. a thinner coat. I even told him:

"Back in our day we wore bright colored bulky coats filled with pure down by Columbia up the hill both ways and we didn't complain, Son."

--It actually made falling a little easier in my honest opinion- having pure down loft to soften the blow to your unhelmeted head.  But back then they didn't make coats for your legs and ankles so when they "twizzled" (Olympic word! I don't know if I used it correctly, but there it is!) up together after you were midway down skier's lane.

Those were embarassing times, eh? Falling down the wrong lane.Which is the one where lots of people are flying by.

-When some guy (I am assuming it was a guy but not sure cause my glasses were fogged up) comes up to you and says something about your pole or a ski were seen by the sign that diverges betweeen the face and the lane you are on. I just nodded and told him as soon as I untied my legs I'd hike back up there.

And I had to remind him that back in my day- we learned to fall on our OWN! Dad took us to the resort where he had a "case of trouble" with work on their phone systems, we were outfitted with skiis, poles, boots they pulled from a freezer, and shoved onto the bunny hill. We had to resort to our own basic instincts when it came to learning to ski. None of this prior instruction. Well, one lady did tell us a story about snow plows but what they had to do with me getting down the hill, I had no idea. I just nodded about to be polite.

Kelly Canyon's rope tow wasn't the plush system they have now, either.

It was a huge cable that drug on the ground and if you were the only person to need up it you carried the weight of the football length frozen cable by your blimey self. There wasn't a ski instructor there to tell you it was safe to get on the ski lift after so many times down the bunny hill! You asked the person on the lift next to you how to get off.

That was after they quit stopping the lift for you at the top so you could get off and just slide down the hill. Oh, and there wasn't any pause like there is today for you to get on. We had Olympic time differences where it swung back slightly from the curve it had just gone around and then hit the back of your leg, knocking you backwards into its seat. This is where a lot of kids had to suddenly pee.

For a girl, getting down the hill, in the lodge, finding the bathrooms, unzipping coats and bibs and sitting down is way harder than it is for guys to go. That reminds me of the days when I had an unbelievably strong bladder. Which only brought on misery holding it all that time. Should have just peed my pants.

Whoa, what's this post about? Oh, yeah! Great Customer Service! It'll have to hold a minute. Hope it has a steel bladder like mine was.....*

Thank goodness for basketball season and coaches telling us:
"No Skiing!"

 They didn't want us getting hurt during the season. If we were going to break or sprain an ankle, it was on their time! And, hello! This was, like, NBA for 8th graders!

My ankles obliged to their wishes to sprain themselves on several occassions. Now they are really flimsy. Behold: the inflatable ankle cast. I'd kill for one of these right now thanks to the older, but still flimsy ankles.

Chel, don't these bring back sweet memories? Me being in it just for walking up the street with out tying my shoe laces, for instance?

And, to help me play better, I got hard contact lenses. They were ones that let air through them though which was huge technology back then and they held my eye in a position that corrected the astigmatism. their name: GAS PERMEABLES. Whole book on those babies right there.

Suffice it to say that, in the cold, on the mountain for instance, the breathable contacts froze to my eye balls.

Fogged glasses or frozen eyes is a toss up to me.

Despite my limited runs down the ski hills, I managed to disobey coaches and fall down the hill a bit more during the time when I was flexible, athletic and minus RA and Gastro Challenged.

My last run was with my cousin at Targhee. I knew it was the last time I would set boot on a hill again. (Cause of Crohns) I tried really hard to get down that hill a few times when finally I told my cousin to go ahead with out me and he'd find me in the lodge. I didn't know anything about prednisone. Anything about arthritis. I just knew my bones hurt so bad. And that something was wrong with me that I had no idea about. In fact, I had no idea it would cause sprained ankles without even going skiing.

That time was when boarding was getting cool. So I didn't even have time to be cool and show off to win a guy or make half pipe a sport included in the Olympics. Dang.


 I had a son.

Above: Kevin, with his mom, Pia, after his Traumatic Brain Injury boarding and before he hit the slopes again. (See The Crash Reel)

And because of J.,

I found my feet on the mountains again. Only this time it was getting him arranged to ski, then off the hill, arranged back in the car and back home. And doing things like make sure he stays clothed and alive and other important things. (And like on Crash Reel, Kevin Pearce reminds us that Tramatic Brain Injuries can remind us that the MIND has MOUNTAINS. Which I knew from my ordeal. But he makes it look cooler.


Kevin climbing..... recovering from the TBI.

In my opinion, since I had to climb the hill both ways as a kid and hold onto the cable to get up the bunny hill to ski or get on the lift to skier's lane, J. had nothing to complain about! He wasn't getting his cool thin jacket to go up some hill easily with some ski lessons or something! Right?

 In order to find my order, I got on Amazon and located the company that was to be sending it. And found that they were no longer in the loop or something. And I just went and found another company to get it or how did that all play out?

The waiting was long for J. For him to endure a prayer was even sent to the heavens. (Try dealing with a particularly bad stint of your immune system eating itself, and then hearing the sweet innocent and genuine plea from a boy who just wants his coat to come. I told the Lord to forgive him for not remembering to put it into perspective. And my consolation was that he'd learn to endure more torture than waiting for a coat, before life let him loose. Actually, that part made me sad to tell the truth. Try sitting there with your guts digesting themselves and your son having no clue what was ahead. Taking second in the Olympics doesn't even come close to the torture this thought is to a parent.)

*Oh, now that I think about taking first or second in the Olympics- my physical therapist and I had a pretty funny conversation about taking gold. As he strung me up to electical devices, he reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where they make fun of those who take gold. Yup. The person who wins by ten seconths of a second, is up there on the podium thinking: "I won Gold. All these people next to me and what not were behind me by a hair. Ha, ha."

But they have the last laugh all the way to sponsorship bank.

Back to the story in the story......

It was so funny when Fed Ex would come and J would be really excited only to see  Wal-Mart had something like disinfectant  or Clorox wipes for me. Gag packages! Literally. Cause they all are for my office.

When the amount of days turned to weeks was when I started to pray too.It was  Not looking good. I got onto Zon, like I said and found the dealer,wrote a letter. This was really putting me out cause the snow was turning to slush here. The wind obliterating the powder and showing the ugly dead grass.

 So in my letter I explained my disease and how this whole thing of not getting our package, was really not helping my current flare. And to top it off I noticed an ADDITIONAL item I had not ordered, that  I would have to send back something. So not only did I have to pay for it and let them have my money until I got my butt over to the post office- we still didn't have the blimey coat!

So that would charge me the expense of sending it back. After Christmas I so learned a lesson that I didn't learn from myself and that was to order anything with out trying it on in person.

So,with the expectation that it would be weeks until I heard from oblivion sales in the wide world of Amazon, I sent the letter.

Boom. Five seconds later, Inbox bling sound and I have an email and it isn't junk email. It was DJ Board Shop's employee Leslie. What in the world... She apoligized and instructed me on how to get the shipment re-sent to them and my money back as pronto as possible.

then it came. I was learning how to tailor online and Jaden came down stairs with a package that said to not cut it open with a knife. Which is what he does to all packages but with this one, he felt it could ruin his coat and wanted to be extra careful.

We got the box opener from my tool kit, opened it to find the extra items, ANOTHER extra item, and...... HIS COAT!!!!

for a split second I was so mad. Here was an expensive item that was now also put to my card. Dad blammit! Got online and found out it wasn't. oops. Had they sent it to us to make up for the time?
Or was it a mistake? For another hair of a moment I contemplated NOT telling them or sending it back.

Then I did it. I wrote another letter. I told them the extra item in the package. Then sadly sat on the bean bag watching J. put on his jacket and be happy. Bing. Email. uh-oh. I was right. Mistake.

Dang it. Now it would cost that much more for the extra ounces to be sent back to the board shop.

Then.... Leslie said this: "- actually let me paraphrase, She said we could keep it.

What? Who does that? Would Amazon done that? Do they give little coupons for making big mistakes?    btw my hands still are not unthawed. This is a bad sign. I have kitten paws three hours into the day.




 DJ's Boardshop,

 You have customer service that is hard to find these days! And, like the site states: Honest Rider.
(DJ said that his crew is honest. glad I was. whew. close call.)

You have our loyalty.

Readers, DJ's has stuff for camping, biking, boating, boarding, and skiing. And apparently watches. So go there! On your computer. Cause they are not in Idaho and show them the love cause they went to town for us.

I won't be texting much today. See? Readers, you received all the love my paws could type today!

Monday, February 24, 2014

Make-Up Tutorials

Some positive words from an organization that is trying to break us of our obsessions about looking good



I made up all this stuff below!
(I don't have a line of brushes)
And it was written awhile ago. In fact, I feel I have neglected you because I have written a lot but they need tweaking.
*And a disclaimer: It has nothing to do with the fact I just recently had a facial at a make-up party.

Editing is like not having make-up on. You see all the blemishes. So here they are! Enjoy!

Well, I have some time, while my powder "bakes" , to help "set" my under eye concealer, so I can pop on my blog and tell ya about some make-up tips I've learned online. From the "make-up" tutorials.

I have not cared about make- up like I have lately, ever. In fact it has been a long time, since I have had a regular make-up regimen.

 As I have been sick, the make- up  aisles in Wal-Mart were never calling out to me, let along the counters in the mall....

 Don't get me wrong, I love it. I love the feel of 'real' facial cream on my crackling face at night and don't mind if it is Clinique foundation mingling with my furry facial hair-  powder high-lighting all of the fuzzy beaufamusness.

 All of these things are great.

But when you can't afford it or have the feeling you should maybe budget to buy breakfast, you find ways to skimp.

Like use soap for your daily skin regimen. And Vaseline for moisturizer. Ha, ha. Oh, those were the days; Going from Mary Kay's 10 step skin solutions in Jr. High to the eye opener of paying back school loans and being married, with a baby, or something expensive like that.

It CAN be done!
(using just soap. It was really dry at first. But then I adapted. And just accepted the fact. I wanted out of debt more than racking it up.)

However, one day early in my marriage, my sister bought me some real shampoo and conditioner after using Suave for some time, I was in heaven. She must have noticed the Suave or remembered I loved biolage in HS and got it for me. After this-

 I knew that there were chemists up in heaven, making great brands of shampoo and make-up!! Hello!

But I bucked up. And realized that it really wasn't that important. Then I realized, after getting some mascara, after not having it for a long time that it was. To a degree. And that I should have gotten my bachelor's degree and waited until I was ready to afford mascara before committing to a family and marriage.

Oh, wait. Then I wouldn't have J.! J. is way worth going with out mascara!
(oh, how I love you and missed you, Mascara.)

so there I was... poor. Not a drop of leftover make up from HS left- but the clothes still fit!

Prednisone made me vacillate back and forth between what was important and, in the end, I begged my best friends to
"watch out for stray facial hairs on my face"

 pluck them, with the tweezers hanging from a necklace around my neck, and try to avoid being poked in the eye by a dark, stray hair.

Speaking of eyes and prednisone why would soft, annoying hairs have to start to grow from my tear ducts as well?

None of the make-up tutorials on you-tube told me to "tickle those eye duct hairs with my mascara brush" when doing my eye lashes. So what do I do with those make-up artists? No way I am waxing them. Have you tried to tweeze one of those? Or been poked in the eye for that matter? If not, just know it hurts.

Where was I? Oh, yes. In bed in the middle of the night. Back to my make-up tutorial..... make-up recently caught my eyes again. The pharmacy is right by all the make-up and razors.

First of all,  I noticed some strange sponges, that resembled Peeps, hanging in bags by the make-up/ I started to wonder what was going on in the make-up world. And what was BB creme, was Primer necessary, and CC cream?  I thought that primer was for painting walls.

I didn't really care as I stood in line across the way waiting for the pharmacy tech to help me. But it did catch my eye, like I said. Good job other countries for making colored make-up sponges before we thought of it.

And then I started to see the fall out (physically)of being on prednisone for a


                                 very long time.

Fat cells fell out in the wrong place.

One side effect, the moon face, a well hated inevitable was part of the fall.

 BUT then I started to notice I was getting some of that cushing-ness migrate and go other places. Like my neck.

Now I had    S A T U R N  F A C E.

(That is me up there- aren't I beautiful?)

I complained about the many rings around my neck to a friend.

She shared tips with me. She learned about '' and told me about it.
The lady impressed me. And taught me.

So did Drew Barrymore. And I appreciated her YouTube tutes and her affordable make-up at Wal-Mart.And, once again, Wet n Wild came to my rescue. (the drug store brand of choice when you first tried make=up)

-I  went to you tube for some online tutorials, and found a UK guy named

Wayne Guss,

and I launched /started my tutorials.
(this is the first one)

Back to the pro...

Guss actually put make-up on his face. So, of course, I had to watch that. And I learned! And Guss knows a lot and I wish I could ask him about countering the rings...
But I learned that you don't smile and then put on your blush or else when you stop smiling, the apples of your cheeks just fall down. Gravity. Dang it.
I found out what those sponge looking Peeps were really for....some famous person tweeted, or instagramed, which Peep she used and it was $30.00. And I found that if you are going to do any sort of Tutorials on make-up, you have to make your own make up and brushes.


Back to the the rings. Neck rings.

The new rings in my life were and are making me disappointed, depressed, and


 The displacement of fat cells onto the trunk of my body- with each glimpse into the mirror or reflection that comes from my computer, sinks in that my celestial, physical appearance has been and will be permanently altered.


So, My body has changed. And I have learned some new lessons. One day I was so astonished I turned to J. and asked:

"Do I Look like ME?"
J. stopped playing Mine Craft, looked up at me, and said: "You look like

Which I figured to mean that he didn't care what I morphed into because me, was me.
Even if I start to resemble a make-up Peep.

We'll see if that changes once he hits middle school.

So while my Concealed Eye Cookies are baking this is my line of make-up ideas:

I don't have a huge amount of money to get a country that can inexpensively make my own line of brushes of the finest goat hair. So maybe I will just take it a notch up and ask beauticians around town to keep their clippings of REAL HUMAN hair. So I can say it is the best. Right?

Would you rather have a human hair in your casserole or a goat hair? Exactly.

That way I can make the softest, non-cruel to animal brushes on earth.

Barber Shops will help with the stiff hairs, from shaving men's beards, so I make angled brushes and

Stippling Brushes-

These ones are for applying foundation.
Who knew, right?
I always just used my fingers and patted foundation into my pores and volcanic scars from acne.

 If they ( Barber shops) don't want to cooperate, because their hair is going to extension buyers on the black market,  I could just put a bunch of staples into a brush and that will help get the foundation into the pores. At this time in the morning that is sounding way easier.

Ot will be called: The Stapling Brush.

If this were a VLOG imagine me holding up my stapler, opened, in front of my hand so you could get a good look at the correct brush cause it'll be confusing when I start adding the numbers to the different brushes because other lines of brushes look so alike.

And I don't want to confuse you.

Also, for my eye brow brush-- it will have the name-
Oral B on it.

You might think that it is simply a toothbrush that I have overcharged you for. Don't be fooled~ It has the toothbrush appearance because I want your hand to be comfortable while you do your brows.

And if it looks used, it's all part of the illusion that make-up helps you create. (see contouring tutorials online. make-up is an art of illusion, people!)

Don't try to think of those toothbrushes being used. We don't want to fill landfills full of toothbrushes. This will also help us help the environment.

Buying foundation online can be frustrating. Getting the right color in person from a lady in a lab coat can be even more difficult.

Instead I will send swatches out. Like they do at the paint stores. Or you could buy one of those mixers they use at the paint store and just add the paint, er foundation, to a can and then paint wood slabs and hold them next to your face. Or just dab and mix into your wrist.

If your wrist starts to harden up and feel stuck, stick to the painted board.

Once I get this going I will hire REAL chemists, travel to a secret underwater location and derive a secret ingredient only to be harvested by real fish.

Then I will get a real photographer to do some vlogs and hire someone who has good skin minus any of my make-up and put it on her then just show the before pictures.

Okay, time to be serious. Because it is true, taking care of ourselves is important. But there are only so many things concealer can cover up.

I didn't lie when I said Vaseline is a good thing to have. Huge. So is drinking lots of water. Stay hydrated. And use lotion. Breaking skin into stretch marks has a way harder time if it has soft skin to work with. Missed that one and am paying the price. Nothing will work to take them away once they stretch marks are striated on your body. Unless there is something in the world of surgery.

I have been using my Vaseline lotion on them which is a daily ritual in learning to love them, I guess.

Avon has a general cream that feels so good. Especially at night. When I finally could afford this, wow was I happy. No more baby lotion on my face- found out which is greasiest! And equate brands are probably okay. Aveeno lotion helps with J's eczema better than anything I have seen. As well as using Melaleuca's Renew. No, I am not a sales associate, but is the BEST hand lotion ever.

For your heels I honestly go back to Vaseline. And the Renew. And the Vaseline lotion.
I think the key here is to do it daily. No matter what you have. I wish I had stayed hydrated or at least well lotion ed up before the fall out of my face on


And I never use pumice stones. Because I read somewhere that it just makes the callous grow back again. Maybe it is like the saying if you shave it, it will come back more prickly. No it doesn't. Well, my face is furrier, so maybe it just depends on who you are and what works.

If you are on prednisone long term, you will lose your hair on top. And it will come in on your face. Opposite a receding hair line, your brow will meet up with it. This can be handled with and you just have to brace yourself. And carry tweezer with you where ever you go.

Rosacea. Awwww, rosy cheeks and very shiny, bright  Rudolph noses. My line will cover this, but til then I think finding products minus alcohol in them, and avoiding really hot water will help. So will living in:



wind and cold temps don't help. however, we are having a mild couple of days. And really, how could I give up all this....

and why did someone have to invent a bike that could ride in the snow? Now J. has that to save up for. How many bikes can a kid get?

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