Monday, August 18, 2014

OsteoArthritis Apology to the Quenn

Very hard past couple of days due to the arthritis, my bones, and my muscles.
Been up tonight due to the neuropathy pain in my body and some seriously sore muscles.

You might be asking: "But what does she do?" Well, I overdid it doing some benign things like walking to a picnic, watering my flowers (remind me to tell you about the adopted ones) and just plain livin' life.

So I wrote that I needed to make a royal apology. Some time ago I recall laughing to myself at one of the foundations the Quenn's daughter-in-law was supporting; OsteoArthritis. Or something. So Princess Di did charity work for land mine victims and then her ex's wife now is a champion of arthritis.

When I read about her championing it I chuckled. And I have arthritis. But this last night I have been really hurting. My muscles are cramping. Tendons and the likes are all pulling on my bone as if they were desperate for a cure or something. And my hands......

My first experiences with this pain was when I was trying to finish a cross stitch a looong time ago. I felt like a failure cause I was sick, didn't know what I had, and it HURT to cross stitch.- One of my favorite hobbies. I cried. I only did three lines of a project I was on and that was all I could show for my day.

Certain medications finally came out and my hands unthawed enough to finish that project.
now,

not so much. I had to give up that hobby. Which was fine. My eye sight is a bit blurred out by the disease and possibly prednisone. So that squinting isn't for me. However, it hurts to type now.

Why am I? Good question. I have to let you know that it is so hard to look at things- or have ideas, and not be able to tackle them, to DO them.

When your hands and feet and joints lock up--- it is a loss. It is so hard to deal with this kind of loss. Especially as J's mother. We both had a candid talk with a confidant the other day and we laughed.
And we also found out how angry 'this' makes both of us.

But we laughed about stuff because it was reworded in a way that made us just do belly laughs becaues the counselor hit the nail on the head. Life sometimes just throws stuff at ya that is so painful ya gotta laugh.

Until it is the middle of the night. And the pain from attacked muscles, stiffening joints, and disability make it hard. So I get researching and finding cute things. And run across a blog called:

Scissors and Spatulas.com

And I see a bunch of cute things... and I get wanting to

Create!

And then....
I recall it hurts to scroll down on the computer.
And then I realize my limitations. I have a big baby moment where I cry and the piano playing on my radio hits the staccato of my pain. so I tell myself:

"At least you aren't a quadripalegic." And at least you can SEE how cute the stuff she has made is.

And that is enough. Well, actually then I had to force my frozen fingers to do a little bit more this night and that is to write. Cause that is what I like to do. Write. And I can't believe that I have hands that hurt so badly. And then I think of all those old people or young people out there that are too young to have faced arthritis so early.

And other things. Like diseases, cancers, what have you, and what you don't have.

I read somewhere something to the effect:

"If you want to count your blessings, clean out your closet."

It is true!

I have been doing just that, cleaning closets out and getting organized. It is really helpful. And don't forget those drawers. Another saying my mom always would tell me as a kid:

"Everything should have a place, and everything put back in its place."

My problem was that I never made some places for everything to go so it just sat around until recently.

I think I might be making some head way!  But along the way I am being reminded how crippling this disease can be.....
gotta massage some muscles and am so glad it is almost morning! Oh, and I am sorry about laughing about what's her name - Prince Charles wife's name eludes me right now.- she is spot on in tackling the effects of bone degenration. It is so important to take care of your bones. And if ya can't due to meds leeching your calcium and a disease that makes regenerating bone hard....

I guess all ya can do is remind yourelf that there are worse things.

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