Thursday, August 14, 2014

How to Breathe with Inflamed Esophagus

It's Darn Near Impossible.

It's hard:

to breathe when ya can't.

So here is me live;  raw. From the heart today/night/day. That's how long these posts take now.

Okay, I know that Crohns affects a person from the mouth to the,

other end.

It's a bummer, to say the least.
But for some reason I think it stops there,- the GI tract is my tongue to my bum.
Real simple, right?
If your body wants, it can send some serious acid from your gut, upward and well, then it isn't just your mouth now!
(Those ulcers in the photo; kill. Bring on the dissovable tablet: Sucralfate, please. Thank you Dr. H for figuring out this would help me and yuou aren't even a GI GUY.)
It's in your sinuses,
Eustachian tubes,

and pretty soon your eye balls are drowning in the whole mess too.
And who knows what happens in your brain. I just know it likes to go mess with the hypathalamus.
More research needed, please!
(oh, wait- I am that research. I forgot. Sorry)
For some odd reason I fail to remember that an esophagus, and the lungs, can struggle with inflammation too.
 Heck, inflammation; can be all over the body.

When this happens to you, you are in what they call:

"A rock and a hard place. "

Annnnd a few more boulders.

Some cement.

And that one stuff Superman is allergic to what is it? I forget.; Kryptonite.(after I edited it, came to me. Yes, I edited a little! woo-hoo me!
I haven't had Crohns attack me this badly in this area (throat and esophagus) so it is rather unnerving to have it progress in such a way and become annoying to say the least. (Imagine the act of swallowing, it is almost like blinking; ya do it without thinking.

Now I think A LOT about swallowing.

There are so many parts of the body that this can affect, I am losing track.

In fact, I can't even pronounce some of the stuff yet. So I have decided to stop even trying to learn the names.
On a particularly hard day with the wind pipe, I had to call E; a friend who has endured much.
 Because there is NOTHING to do for the inflammation that we have not tried-
take anti-inflammatory, prednisone, in a limited amount cause I want off it.

Take care of the allergies and such.
Diflucan and should be every day that I am on prednisone until I can stop.
Add some swishing of the Nystatin.
Possibly a numbing liquid to be swallowed and then.....


Ya get a little ancy after so much enduring!. Get restless. And want to plant more flowers outside or something; forgetting that playing in the dirt while ill can make you more sick if you don't put your gloves on.


doo, doo, beep, bob, dee, dee.
me pecking out the phone number a good friend.

ME: "E!?
Do you have a few minutes?"

" 'It 'is burning and I feel like I am slowly suffocating. Do you think I am coming down with pneumonia, ?"
E: " It's the inflammation, Honey. Ya gotta calm down, breathe slow, and work through it."

I knew this. 
But I needed to hear the consolation.
ME: "Could it be my asthma? Should I be doing the inhaler?" I asked wondering what on earth is causing or what on earth can answer this situation.

But I already know: my esophagus is inflammed.
And ya add a carpet of thrush on down it and of course it is miserable to swallow and find that it just doesn't let up.
E. isn't a doctor but she's been through the gamut and is up to date on my situation: Esophagitis and Gastritis after a fungal infection was recently detected and beat down.
On its heels a battery of blood tests revealed something hiding under the radar that mimic all the symptoms of esophagitis and blah, bluck, boo.

A package of pain, let's say.
Even knowing and treating this, the Crohns attacks the tissue and puts a choke hold on tissue.
Literally. It is like someone has punched me in the neck at times.
* I was writing this dramatic, informative and spiritual post for those who google like mad late at night and try to understand what you are going through and if it connects to anyone, someone, anyone else and ya read it ferociously for answers and tips- and then J. jumped outta the shower, and like a puppy crawls up on my bed leaning on my lap, and  pulls up:

Not this photo, but:
' NFL amazing runs.' landscape mums chrysanthemums

(but this photo is really pretty,why didn't I plant mums, chrysanthemums, and Kale in the May???? Too late now! Darn.)
hm. This football on youtube  that I am having to listen to and watch Really affects my writing; having your kid put on some seriously cool runs and touchdowns is a fun distraction.

 I am going to have to put some Josh Groban back on or something to get back in the mood maybe.
Nope, it's gone. Josh can't get it back.
I will have to hear the cheer of a stadium crowd, an announcer, and J. watching 2014s best runs, blah, blah. Great. We were talking about me breathing! Or not being able to! Who cares! Ya gotta move on!
 Before I desert this post, I will leave my best advice on how to breathe through the space of a shoe string.
So to answer my posts' title, on how to breathe when you can'tL 1. you calm yourself. yourself.
3. Try talking to every muscle in your body; send a message to that tight space in your throat and accept that you will have to breathe through the space of a straw.

4.Use music.
5.Look at pictures.

6. Stare at the ceiling that you stared at when you were growing up cause you are a stay at home daughter.
7. there is nothing left to do.

Unless you want to or need to take more prednisone- why? Cause it helps with inflammation and will open that passage up. But if you want to get through it and keep working on getting off Pred and needing it, you try to do without it.
I guess. Actually you gotta just get through this very moment. Everything stops.
You have to stop.

*I can't add pics, keep typing, or revise any of this. Because I need to do just that- stop and breathe cause I am uncomfortable. This is where it is so. hard.  I guess I gotta throw my head back in a "special way" and look at the ceiling.                *
Whatever it is you are doing, want to be doing.... you have to stop.
(Don't do all my advice at home. Call your Doctor. Or go see 'em if you can't breathe. You know your body. I just know this is all I can do after the docs have done all they can do. )
You will know what to do. Pretty soon the panic will fade and you will be able to handle the pain and discomfort you are experiencing. A point comes where you can feel it go through you.
Pass through you. Like a train coming into town and heard out the window. Its wheels rattling and whistles blowing.
And then it's gone.
Or it goes in revers and just stands stagnate in the middle of the intersection and a bunch of cars pile up behind you. And you wonder:

"What on earth are they doing? Taking a lunch break right there? Do they realize they aren't in the stock yards and just resting right there at the busy intersection?"

My Point:
Sometimes it takes a long time to be gone. HECK, maybe it never leaves, heaven forbid!
Those are long moments.
Moments that I have to just look at the ceiling. I can't write. I have to look up and I wish my computer was above me somehow.....
Eventually you get on top of 'it.'
'It' , like that big ol rail car, doesn't leave but you are in place where you can let 'it' happen.
And right now it happens to be freight train stuck in my  throat. 
Like I said up above- I thought I knew this dumb disease(s). But it is throwing things at me that are just crazy-ness. My fingers normally could dance across a piece of paper or keyboard. But the work I did the other day, some light lifting, such as picking up a detergent to pour into the washer and maybe I lifted the blow dryer and a basket of lost socks.
I know I did a lot of pointing out to others what to do- maybe that was what did it; instructing.
 'It' caused two big veins in my recently sprained wrist, to


Didn't Heavenly Father know I need this hand to write?

Who knows.
Doesn't matter.
Bring back the wrist brace.
Boo- hoo.
I can push through this.
My flowers are looking awesome and I took a small stroll around my neighbor's flowers and they are super cute and gave me ideas of something to plant next spring. 
 Around town there are beautiful blooms too!
Along a busy street here in I.F. are some forlorn houses but there is one that has some amazing tall Zinnias or Dahlias bursting from the flower bed!!

Why didn't I think of them when I planted in spring?

Today hot rods were line up around the Snake River green belt. 
four years ago J. and I road our bikes down there and my orange bike got a flat tire.... doh!
my little nephew came over and when he saw my impatiens beneath our big tree in the front yard and he said:
"Ohhh! How pretty!"
and bent his little body down low to smell the flower= careful to hold his hands back and just touch the petals with his sweet nose.
Just Breathe through those hard moments.
Every swallow that feels like gulping carpet down your throat is agonizing. And annoying. And doesn't just go away.
I am finding out a lot about the extent which people can suffer.
I am learning I was and am oblivious. I need to focus on others so that my load is easier to bare.  
Gotta go. J. is here to spend some good quality time watching some inspirational football footage.

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