Sunday, March 4, 2012

Sea Sick

There is nothing worse than nauseau.

This fact is learned when you get the stomache flu as a child for the first time. The moment when your stomache rejects whatever germ that set up camp, is the body's cruel initiation to life.

Can you recall your "flu firsts"???

Don't you get the shivers thinking about it?

The shock to your little brain that this sort of thing could take place in your happy, comfortable world is worse than biffing it on your banana bike in the middle of the street. Or getting a goose egg on the noggin' when you biff it while trying to turn your banana bike around in a driveway. A single car driveway. None of this double and triple sized concrete drives that kids have these days.

Yes, the flu is the worst induction to life. Because, one a bike isn't even involved- so your actions weren't necessarily physically connected to the cause, and

Two: it doesn't involve a sibling. No fighting, horsing around. Just a barrage of gutt wrenching pain from "nowhere" but INSIDE you. Then to your horror,there is NOTHING your parents could do to help.

Compared to other childhood injuries, where they (parents) did a great job of patching you up can't compare to either the stomache flu or those fevers that climb to 1,000 degrees, or something.

Camphophenic poured over a knee and then bandaged up healed pretty quick; a light blue shower cap looking containter filled with ice for the crazy head injury, named after an animal's offspring, usually subsides with in a few hours. -As long as you don't touch your nest, the egg was pretty pain contained.

But the stomache flu and those fevers. Ugh.

Yeh, you are rewarded after that first toilet hug, a peaceful feeling washes over your sweaty brow as you crawl back to the towel on the bathroom floor that your mom kindly put down for you, and pulls another one up over your shoulders. The cool breeze from draft under the door is actually soothing and helps you to drift into a fitfull state of rest while your padres head back to bed and leave you alone. On the floor. Because it is the middle of the night.

However, that first projected fluid is just the beginning. Soon, the roiling starts AGAIN. And this time its worse!!!!!!!! Why? Becaue the germ has already gotten rid of dinner and now is pulling from all your cells to help get the ick out; bile in all its glory.

And that's when you really start to feel like a mortal.

At this point, if you had parents like mine, they brought in the first and only life line: crackers. And pop.

A life long reverence is developed for Saltine Crackers and 7-up after this kind of experience. Never again can I open up ,y cupboard and pass over the Saltine's for a newer more fun cracaker at least without acknowledging the plain little cracker that saved my life.

However, as I have grown I have come to know that crackers don't always cut it. That there are illnesses and medicines to help those illnesses that give the stomach flu new meaning.
Never have I been more grateful to know there was a pill called phenergen for nauseau.

It was like the first time I ever had an ibuprofen. I must have been in 5th or 6th grade and playing some after school sport that required true effort. Maybe it was when I sprained my ankle and was given the anti-inflammatory. (Think of the heavens opening at this point.) Wow. Relief. And P.S. I have broken my ankle (thanks older brother and trampoline- but I can testify that a sprained ankle can be worse. Truly. The worst.)

So it's a good thing that growing up, us kids didn't have helmets, knee pads and overly worried parents, or I wouldn't have been able to build up such a collection of stories or an appreciation of ice, pop, phenergen and Zofran.

What is phenergen? Just a small white, life saver. As I started my career with my disease I came to find out there was something out there that actually helped nauseau besides pop and crackers. Oh, and Ginger snaps.

The relief from this knowledge can not be defined. However, the sad part is- with medicine there came newer forms of treatment, hence stronger side effects. The saddest feeling in the world is when the first, then second lines of treatment; don't work.

I know that some pregnancies and, of course, chemo- patients are probably unable to read this post right now because of the graffic details and reminders. I am soo Sorry!

And if you are one of these people coming to my blog for some lift you up. Don't read the next part. It is awful. Just go to a happier blog. Or turn on your T.V. and put in a Disney movie.

There is ONE other med that is the Cadillac of all nauseau medicine. It truly is the life saver. It is the one thing in my mind that I cling to if the pitching of the ship becomes too great.
It comes in a dissolvable tablet. A pretty pink dissolving tablet. Yet, I know this will be hard to swallow, sometimes THAT isn't enough. And THEN it comes in an I.V. form.

But at this point, you are only meekly able to acknowledge the greatest form of health care on earth, because at this point you will be severely dehydrated and talking, writing, thanking or thinking are last on your brain's list.

Why is this scary? Well, because there is a shortage. I know. When I was in the hospital told me about this shortage. Mind you, this isn't even a controlled substance. When I my muddied mind mulled over what they said and then heard a nurse later tell why there was a shortage I was flabbergasted. This is America. Yes, we know there could be shortages. We expect it. But when it comes. Dang it is rough. So is finding out that your disease makes it so you can't take Ibuprofen. That was a real downer of a day when I found that it just makes the inflammtion worse which seemed to be ironic. But, whatever, the body's immune system is complex; a bit like trying to understand politics.

I know, I should be grateful for the short time in my life that I had to find relief. But it doesn't take away the shock when I found out that the Pharmaceutical Companies that make Zofran had delays, discontinued a certain way of manufacturing, bought out another, discontinued the drug.--- Whatever that smart move was meant for.

Discontinued. Like a one of a kind dress, made by a popular designer, you get to say you had Zofran when it was available. All the nauseaueted people you meet, will be jealous.

Way to go team.

Is there some way to get this information to the people who are smuggling illegal stuff into the states? I mean, c'mon! If they can get THAT over here, surely they can bring some legitimate stuff or teach us how to import.

To make my trip to EIRMC even scarier than an episode of a girl eating a Tarantula on Fear Factor, a nurse in training got telling me a story about some basic cancer treatment drug shortages, too. Some basic chemo drugs had to be wiped out because of contamintation.

I made a mental note, that when if I become a nurse I won't tell a patient about all this stuff until after (s)he checks out of the hospital. Because it just sorta doesn't help the healing process. Even though she thought it might get my mind off the needle she was trying to put in my arm, it didn't relax the event. Actually, I won't tell them.

Because it seriously made me wonder what the heck is going on in our country and how we can fix it. And I wasn't in a position to do so while I lay on my back in a hospital bed with 70 per mile winds crashing into the side of my wall, the plumbing backing up water in the pipes; filling the toilet and sink with water. I sat and contemplated a course of action as my IV bag and mug sway gently from side to side.

Staring up at the ceiling and debating turning on the T.V.; I couldn't come up with anything. Can you?

Upon returning home, today in fact, JUST NOW, I googled the situation. Apparently there are probs with importing some of the ingredients from other countries. Basic ingredients. Like some herb or something that is growing rampantly on a hillside in a foreign country but it just cccccccaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn'tttttttt seem to get over here. Where we have really smart people who mix it, grow it, do their thing and then give it to us.

And so those little plants will just live out their lives on that hillside and we will eat crackers. I sure hope that whatever goes into those, and 7-up is grown in America. Or better yet, locally!

Heck, J. once asked if we could plant swords and trucks in the garden. I thought is was quite cute that he thought those could grow in our OWN backyard! Come spring, forget beans and carrots! To heck with potatoes and corn! No way is Padre getting 17 tomato plants linging the border of our garden! I am planting IV Zofran, crackers and 7-up bottles in the soil.

I will keep you posted about the harvest.


The author of this post does not assume responsibility and/or any liability for persons administering pop, crackers or 7-up or given any other medical care in reliance upon this information, or otherwise in conncetion with these scenarios. The author does not necessarily endorse or recommend the use of any of these remedies.

Don't you love the law?

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