Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Crow Removal

(Something seemingly harmless and unidentifiable if you were riding by on a horse.)

Yesterday I mentioned that I would post about the headless crow bird. My prayers were not answered when I awoke to find the corpse and it's head in the EXACT same place. But you get more story.

Thinking someone would pick it up..... Like a dog or cat. Don't cats do this sort of thing too; murder? And then bring it to their owner's as a gift? Cats are all over this neighborhood and not one has ventured over to that mess. And I told everyone else in the fam, ahem... the men... But nothing!

What I might have failed to mention to you, reader, was the fact that their  [The Crow Clan] main stake out is out my door. Remember in Tolkeins' books, and the movie series when poor Frodo does the weird eye warp zone look and has to look passed horrible terrain to the demonic place where an eye looks out all over the horrible terrain as well. It's eye going left than right searching for the ring, I guess.

Because this atrocious volcanic fire spewing rock is where an atrocious ring was made. And whoever owns is made into a terrible, ugly, anorexic owner. With a smoker's voice.

(Here is Mordor, or whatever the Hobbits call it, that is OUT my front Door. 
So pan your Frodo vision across hobbit towns and villages, forrests and talking trees
until you finally rest your eyes on this innocnet home for the crows.
For any new readers, this is not the kind of crows from Dumbo.
Sure they are all buddies but they don't add all the bad info to the Disney cartoon.
The boys were thrilled it still lay there and that's its superiors who had deemed his death worthy from the upper realms of their lair:
I had to take care of it.
Before the boys got into a mess.

Shovel in hand and some serious positive thinking, I walked over to the headless crow bird and looked into it's beady black eye. Tentatively I put the shovel close to the ground and tried to get the straw yellowish part of the beak to slip onto the shovel. Which it did quite quickly and gave me a rare and jolting look at the exposed white  BRAIN of a crow, and the dry white bone of his neck and some of his spine, before it slid into a plastic Albertsons bag.
His mates had scalped him!!!
Thinking of his mates made me look up into the branches of the tree
 searching and waiting for
them to come diving at me. But it was completely quite. Probably because they were using their black crows feet and amazing skills to scribble down my height, weight, hair and eye color.  Oh, and the sound of my voice letting out small pitched wimpers.
(they recognize voices too. neat, huh?)
By this time I was nauseaus. yuck.. ... the body
held more fear for me than the threat above my head or the crow head in my earth damaging plastic sack held ten feet out from me.
My arms don't stretch that far but it's amazing what you can do in a pinch.
With the crows out causing mayhem elsewhere I had the courage to peer at the body. They actually consist of more than black, glossy feathers. Hues like green and violets, that were actually quite pretty; But of course it was missing it's head!!!!

Despite this initial set of jitters, I successfully slid the shovel under the guy, we'll call him Ned, and almost had him in the opened bag when the wind blew, the two sides came together and Ned's slick mottled body slid down the side of the bag and back to the ground.

A REDO?????
Yup. And guess what, I did it.
I even double bagged it and slung it in the trash like a pro.

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