Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Nike's Work Out; Watch Out

I don't run. I don't like to be cold.

So when Running magazing and Outside magazine show up in the mail box, I am all over it.

I take in the advertisments and articles, find out what are good shoes to run in, how to train for a marathon, and how horrible it would be to have to cut your arm off after an 800 pound boulder has fallen on it and you're by yourself, forgot to tell anyone you were gonna day hike into BlueJohn Canyon in Southern UT., and subsequently had to use a dull knife to escape your predicament.(The movie about Aron Ralston, 127 Hours, Starring the kid from the Spiderman movies: James Franco is due out soon.)


Well, one, Padre has so many Frequent Flyer miles, that he can choose free magazine subscriptions, and Two,

I used to run and exercise, frequently outside, a lot.

If I hadn't been slammed by a debilitating illness in college, I'd be out there right now, using the Iphone and Nike's phone app system built into the heel of thei shoes, running somewhere. All the while advertising great brands.

Paired up with an Ipod I could listen to music, report my heart rate, speed and distance right to my social networking sites and easily into the hands of the government and inevitably; the Taliban.

The company's idea is good, to get us all networking and funneling data back to them so they can improve the shoe, but I gotta side with Padre on the whole 'accountability helps us perform better philosophy'. That kind of mentality will possibly help push you on those days you'd rather not work out, but there has to be some sort of angle to letting a big corporation in on where and what you are doing. Sounds like a blog.

Maybe my shoes could blog for me as I ran. I'd just have to think outloud and ka-pow!; a book is on the door step at a publishing company.

They wouldn't even have to send a rejection letter in the mail, simply notify me while I was running and let me know people were NOT interested in hearing my stories during their triathalon.

Yeah, I would've been a gear geek, wearing the latest and greatest in exercise and outdoor gear. Not the old T-shirts, shorts or bundled up in the winter in so called 'gear' that I used to run around the college campus in with my brother, The Torment.

No, I would be sweating in style at the nearest Athletic gym right now, preparing for something Big and Noteworthy for my posterity, and the public in general.

oh, just a second, Fed Ex delivery....

Delivery Guy

What he brought and I get to sign for, in my jammies.

Doesn't my shot look good under the Christmas Tree?

Side note: I finally got a third of the lights strung two days ago. another third yesterday when we picked up more lights. And Madre finished the last third after we found we didn't have enough. (The day I dragged the tree upstairs, I found 5 sets of lights burned out. But that's okay. I didn't have the energy to do the whole sha-bang right then. Good thing I started this whole Christmas decorating early this year.)

Where was I?

Oh, running and telling the world how much you've done.

So had I NOT been struck with a life altering disease, I'd be out there making all my facebook friends feel guilty for not working out. I would have never read in the WSJ about the CEO of facebook selling all our information, etc. and gotten off facebook so I could fool those fools and put all my info up on a blog! )

So, basically, I would be in good shape AND famous.

You'd see pictures of me in WSJ at the head of The Boston Marathon, summitting Aconcagua or Mt. Everest with a team of somebodies.

It would have been so cool.

Now all I can account for to the blogosphere is that I did 10 push-ups and sit ups- in my jammies and answered the door in the same 'garb'. Where is the fun or reality in that?

I just wonder if Nike would be able to come up with some sort of special app for me. It would down load blood samples and other inconvenient tests to my Dr.s in Utah.
I wouldn't have to keep track of my weight, fluids lost, or anything. Just put a pair of cool Nike's and zing!;all the hard stuff is done for me.

It would tell me when I needed to get Gatorade from the store so as to avoid dehydration. Best of all, it would let me post all that great stuff to my blog.
I can't think of a better gift from Santa this year. First I gotta get those guys at Nike to see that their running shoes can be for the athlete at heart, that Professional Patients need good arch support, sturdy and dependable shoes to go to work in.

However, there are SOME drawbacks. And you can rest assurred when you and I both see terrorists training in Nike's, trying to do our workouts or wanna be one of our social workout friends, Padre is gonna be there saying:

"I told you so."

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