Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Be Here Now

The mood I had yesterday somewhat subsided as I took a handful of Rhubarb leaves to the garbages on the south side of the house. As I opened the chain link gate, I noticed the Peonies had suddenly blossomed.

The day before I walked by them and they were buds.... But today they had burst open!
It startled me that it could change so quickly.

Suddenly, I felt bad for being such a sore complainer. Those peonies seemed just for me.

So I put the elephant ear leaves into the garbages that the Peonies seem to want to wrap around and hug- and started to cut them for vases indoors.

And then I remembered a part in Lucy Grealy's book.

(Finally, after years of surgery, bone is crushed and formed into almost half of the jaw she was missing,)

She was using the bathroom before going in for her injection of chemo and there was a stall that had chiseled into the metal door hook the words: Be Here Now. The other bathroom had scratched into its door:

"God is Near".

Lucy would pick which door to enter depending on what she needed to feel that day. Most of the
time she went into the stall stating:

Be here Now.

I wondered if the writer/engraver had meant: "God be here now," or if it simply was a reminder; "Be in this moment, right now. No matter how painful. Take it all in. Be aware.

Lucy, like many of us, was always looking
forward to the next thing;
in her case it was a surgery that would take away the painful face that she
always identified with as the cause of her "pain" in

And formed her identity.

But I liked the thought of keeping in the present and
hoping that God was near-even if
I wasn't aware.

The last few sprigs of Rhubarb were enough for
Rhubarb Slush.
Which went great with Swiss Chicken and Stove Topping crumbles.

J. biffed it on his bike- getting the first of many huge scrapes of the summer
and even his game was rained out.

Now that dinner is over,
the sun

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