Prednisone: a.k.a. Black Magic

My Dad gave me the best compliment. He said: "I don't know how you can be on this stuff." He was on a limited dosage of the little white pill that I have been on and off of for over a decade.

I about teared up with the sentiment. Truly, he was empathizing in the only way he knew how.

Linsey, a gal that works for my Dr., interviewed me for research one day; part of the 10 year study on Cimzia-

She asked: "Have you been on prednisone?" I guffawed. Smiling she asked: "Ok, I meant WHEN were you first on it?"

How could I forget? "1999" I fired back. I didn't know an inkling about the drug back then. Just that it was a white round pill that was really bitter to the taste so I took it with milk chocolate milk if possible. Methodically stirring the spoon fulls of Nestle to chase down the gagging pill. But no matter what, an aftertaste stayed in your mouth somehow.

Magically my symptoms disappeared until a new set of effects started in. Like joint pain for instance. When I couldn't sleep at night I didn't know that it was because of the seemingly harmless little pill. Then the constant insomnia seemed a bit peculiar.

I didn't know how important it was to taper off it until after being so sick of the side effects I decided to just go off cold turkey from a high dosage. I learned a new word: Anaphalactic shock. Not fun.

So when Linsey said they call it 'Black Magic' in the office, I had to adopt the phrase. It truly is a med that many love to hate. When you are wasting away, it can miraculously turn the tide with wannabe Moses-like authority. But the price you pay for the almost immediate response is dear.

If you are on it for long periods of time you start to resemble it; you turn round. My skin becomes paper thin causing cuts and bruising at the slightest mishap. I have never come to be so grateful for "tough skin". A simple blood draw when your veins have been ruined by prednisone can be excruciatingly painful. The veins will look good to the nurse then when entered, burst. I

It can even swell the pupils of your eyes. Everything is just a bit fuzzy and nothing helps but tapering. Which can take weeks, or even up to a year. The little grooves in the pill make it easy to slide your nail into it and split it to decrease the dosage. Then you can cut it into fourths or even eighths. Then I just get the 1 mg tabs or 2.5's.

Red acne covers your face to help accent the roundness.

It makes you want to cook new recipes (Like Cuisinenienie's Best Possible Waffles at a late hour). This isn't in fine print when you get it at the pharmacy, but be warned!

Sometimes good old-fashioned nauseau will set in. And that can make you berserk, but you will be anyway, so no worries. Phenergan can help, saltines and if you need the cadillac anti-naz; call your Dr. and pray your insurance covers it.

But prednisone may leave you with some funny stories to tell later. Like once my boyfriend took me out for ice cream in Bountiful at Pace's. My brother, Dan, was in the back seat. he had come to help to take care of the huge yard at the home I stayed in. The owner's, close friends, were on a vacation. Well, I sat down in the passenger seat of his honda, holding my soft serve vanilla ice cream cone,forgetting the automatic seat belt. The little motor whirred it up and around and right into my ice cream securing it right on my shirt.

Tears stung my eyes. I unlatched the seat belt, unrollled the window with all the patience I could muster; Dad and Scott not quite aware of the event since they were happily eating their treats; and in one fluid toss, threw the cone and what was left of the ice cream, out onto Orchard drive.

Poor Scott. Poor me.
Oh, the best advice to share? Eat bananas every day on this med. Or else you can wake in the night with so many cHaRlIe HoRsEs in your feet and legs you will wish for death. If this happens, jump into the tub and run warm water on them and push the pulled muscles in the direction of the horse- or charlie!

My friend, Care, wants me to share another Sorcery- type post that I had written to her a few weeks ago. I am debating putting on here. It involves a witch -looking creature that works for a debt collector.... I will ponder it and, depending on the reinforcements, post later.