In my research I found out a little more about people with Lupus and what they endure and I wanted to tell you that I can't imagine the debilitating effects of your illness. I am sorry for the pain you have to suffer.
Having a pluerisy "attack" caught my attention.
Things could be worse.
for the new year I want my first post that I write to list what I am grateful for......
Warmth.
I have family members that are out in the cold working some hard jobs and when J. and I pray for them I get choked up. It's cold out there. I can pull on warm socks and bury myself beneath a quilt to get warmer if needed.
I can put my rice bags or the heating pad plugged into the wall to put on places that hurt. Or grab an ice bag to numb the hurt.
We have an oven that can be easily turned on and soup warmed up on its burners. Nothing fancy. Soup and bread. That is a blessing. And when I feel better, the things I need and want to use to make something fancy are there; spices, etc. All waiting for me to get better and resume doing what I like to do: cook and bake good meals for my family.
When I can't I have the items I need to stay healthy and protein to keep my bones in the the best shape I can under the circumstances.
When I am too hot- like with a flash of heat for no reason or due to prednisone- I have a fan.
We have warm coats and jackets.
Food to eat is a blessing. I can't crank out Pioneer woman recipes right now and J. apologized for only perfecting his Velveeta Cheese shell recipe but at least we can eat healthy.
I really grateful to have eye glasses that are my prescription. Do you know how great it is to see things in detail? That is a huge blessing that I am grateful for. And when I have the strength I can do one of the things I love to do and that is Read a book. Right now I am loving Focus by Noelle S. Something..... Anyway she has a great story about her recovery from being hit on the ice by a bob sled holding four men after a training work out for the Olympics. - Which she was poised to win.
Clothes to wear. I need to repeat that- clothes to wear. Because when your weight fluctuates like mine has, due to the prednisone and my love of food whilst on it- I have been able to obtain clothes to wear in public that have made me feel comfortable.
Which brings me to another thing I am grateful for:
Being comfortable. That is taken for granted by me when the pain or discomfort strikes. It is a blessing to feel comfortable. To feel comfort in hard times when there is pain. Isn't it nice when you have just the right pillow or a blanket on top of you in a chair that is comfortable enough that you can sleep in it if you need to when you are sick? Or a bed that is comfortable? I have slept on mattresses through out my life that were really uncomfortable and right now I have one that is very comfortable. It helps when you are arthritic, have a bad back, or are in fine health and enjoy a bed that makes you cry when you lay on it.
Transportation- I have used the SL Express to go to appts. out of state and I can't tell you how hard it is to be cold, uncomfortable, whatever on a van with a bunch of strangers. Actually, I am grateful for that company and their efforts- but it isn't the same as being in your own car. Even then a road trip is hard when you are sick. That company would drop be right at the door of the UofU hospital and I really am glad they have that service.
Lately, with the pleurisy, any rut in the road is painful. The other night it was horrendously painful. Being in a car that has a seat that warms up and drives smoothly is something I was so grateful for when I had the opportunity to be picked up by my grandparents after some infusions and an appt.
Now I get to feel a warm seat when I drive my own car. I am so grateful to have a car to get to my appts., go to the grocery store, etc.
Gas to put in our car so we can get to appts. or go out on dates, or visit family. Or I should say: "Gas Money." There have been times in my life when I would only be able to fill the car to half way. And times when I had to work my son's job mowing lawns when he was at his Dad's to earn money to pay for gas to get us to ball games or pay to play those ball games.
I would be in a lot of pain and pushing a lawn mower or using Padre's industrial Titanic mower in order to get the needed money.
Padre would lecture me on how having low amounts of gas in the tank in winter would make it so moisture could get in there and it would implode or something. But we were stretching our dollars and trying to do sports. I am grateful for that time period in our lives to do that. It seems distant right now and I can't imagine trying to do that at this time. Well, I couldn't. It hurts my side to type.
Which brings me to another thing that hurt today but for which I am grateful:
Laughing. After resting today I had to get to the Dr. J. came with me. Again, I thought this would be a quick thing but we had to go across town and then back again. We were on Sunnyside, which is the lickety split way to get across town and back so as to avoid traffic on 17th street here in IF. Which is still quite cold, Readers. Did I mention it has been in the sub temps here lately? Well, anyway, it has and it is a good thing I am home bound most of the time because anyone I have talked to that has gone outside, has really froze.
So we had to drive back home. And I have a rib cage that I was happy to sit in a warmed seat but then there was a train that decided it was frozen on the tracks and we ended up sitting for almost 30 minutes for this train. J. had enjoyed himself up to the point that he had to endure sitting with me in a Dr. office, and then there we were waiting for a train to move.
After a few minutes I put the car in park (this was before I knew how long it was going to be) and turned to him and asked him in detail about his day. He took off his belt and started to tell me about it and of course his chronicling of the events got me laughing. Which made my side hurt but it was impossible not to laugh. And once he gets me laughing on a topic he stays on it and makes me laugh more.
I imagine the actual events weren't half as funny as his re-telling. Which is basically how my blog, journal, and life is when ya stop and think about it. Some things are funnier later.
So it was a good thing I had a FULL tank of gas to sit there and it gave us some time to talk about our day with each other. Finally, we got out of the line and followed the exodus of cars doing the same and headed south until we could cross the tracks without a train on them. The whole detour made it so by the time we got to the same stop light that we had been trapped behind, the train had started to move and Readers, our detour saved us TWO train cars. Yup. We made a left hand turn and in my rear view mirror I saw the head lights of the cars who had waited. That made us laugh too.
Friends- I have been blessed with good friends. So has J. He spent the day and part of his break hanging out with friends. When they are gone it is hard! We miss them. He is glad when he has a break from school and can hang out with his friends.
We have good neighbors and friends from church. We have friends from different places that we talk to when we go to those places and that is fun. Becauese of my friends I have been prompted or given strength to push a little harder on hard moments.
Like the other day, just a simple text from an old friend helped gave me the thoughts and process of what I should do about a situation and it led to finally getting in touch with and diagnosed by my DR.
I had half given up due to the holidays and I am glad she reached out when she did because it brought about relief. And saved me from the ER taking out my tonsils or something. * I had mine out already. But, like George Castanza off of Seinfeld, they could grow back...... I only remember this episode because I was up one night and watched my siblings' DVD of the first episodes of the series.
Okay! Back to my Gratitude for 2015 Post! ummm... what else am I glad for?
Did I mention HEAT? The other day it was really warm in the house, it could have been a hot flash for me, but I was glad for a thermostat that you can adjust to your needs. Somebody had turned it up to meet their needs and it was boiling so I had it turned back down to the econo saver level which requires a sweater or coat if you aren't having hot flashes. But that is a big one.
There have been times when I have been so cold with my illness. Poor circulation and what not. My feet and hands were always ice cubes. It hurt so badly.
Music- It is helping me right now. Pain is difficult to endure. Often just some peaceful piano music is what it takes to help..... going to do that now. Blogging has helped me endure as well as stay in touch with all of you and let you know how we are doing. It is hard to "climb" on here. I can't understand why that is at some times. It seems like an easy task to just type or look at a screen.. Basic, right?
When you are so ill there are times you want to find a position that you can handle the pain and not move an inch from that position. It makes staying hydrated hard. It makes eating hard. And so it gets worse. Sitting up in my bed the last two weeks has been extremely hard. It was due to the pleurisy. And still is. I have to use my legs to get me to my left side and then slowly rise from a side ways position and then use my bed can to steady my body as I stand up.
This reminds me that the rice bags and heating pad help with the pain. But I have warned on here and warned myself to not use a heating pad in case I fall asleep on it. But it is nice to not have to keep re-heating the rice bag. Wulp, I used the heating pad one afternoon and it ended up really hurting my prednisone thin skin when I took a long nap and brought back awake with a sunburn feeling coming on. OUCH!
Some of this is going to be pretty basic, Readers. But, for me, they are truly
At least we have a hospital. Granted there are no beds available I learned yesterday, but we have a hospital close by. Jaden and I live in a nice warm house. We are able to read books.
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