Flop Bott: Make-Up Tutorials

Some positive words from an organization that is trying to break us of our obsessions about looking good

&

a WARNING:

I made up all this stuff below!
(I don't have a line of brushes)
And it was written awhile ago. In fact, I feel I have neglected you because I have written a lot but they need tweaking.
*And a disclaimer: It has nothing to do with the fact I just recently had a facial at a make-up party.

Editing is like not having make-up on. You see all the blemishes. So here they are! Enjoy!

Well, I have some time, while my powder "bakes" , to help "set" my under eye concealer, so I can pop on my blog and tell ya about some make-up tips I've learned online. From the "make-up" tutorials.

I have not cared about make- up like I have lately, ever. In fact it has been a long time, since I have had a regular make-up regimen.

As I have been sick, the make- up aisles in Wal-Mart were never calling out to me, let along the counters in the mall....

Don't get me wrong, I love it. I love the feel of 'real' facial cream on my crackling face at night and don't mind if it is Clinique foundation mingling with my furry facial hair- powder high-lighting all of the fuzzy beaufamusness.

All of these things are great.

But when you can't afford it or have the feeling you should maybe budget to buy breakfast, you find ways to skimp.

Like use soap for your daily skin regimen. And Vaseline for moisturizer. Ha, ha. Oh, those were the days; Going from Mary Kay's 10 step skin solutions in Jr. High to the eye opener of paying back school loans and being married, with a baby, or something expensive like that.

It CAN be done!
(using just soap. It was really dry at first. But then I adapted. And just accepted the fact. I wanted out of debt more than racking it up.)

However, one day early in my marriage, my sister bought me some real shampoo and conditioner after using Suave for some time, I was in heaven. She must have noticed the Suave or remembered I loved biolage in HS and got it for me. After this-

I knew that there were chemists up in heaven, making great brands of shampoo and make-up!! Hello!

But I bucked up. And realized that it really wasn't that important. Then I realized, after getting some mascara, after not having it for a long time that it was. To a degree. And that I should have gotten my bachelor's degree and waited until I was ready to afford mascara before committing to a family and marriage.

Oh, wait. Then I wouldn't have J.! J. is way worth going with out mascara!

(oh, how I love you and missed you, Mascara.)

so there I was... poor. Not a drop of leftover make up from HS left- but the clothes still fit!

Prednisone made me vacillate back and forth between what was important and, in the end, I begged my best friends to

"watch out for stray facial hairs on my face"

pluck them, with the tweezers hanging from a necklace around my neck, and try to avoid being poked in the eye by a dark, stray hair.

Speaking of eyes and prednisone why would soft, annoying hairs have to start to grow from my tear ducts as well?

None of the make-up tutorials on you-tube told me to "tickle those eye duct hairs with my mascara brush" when doing my eye lashes. So what do I do with those make-up artists? No way I am waxing them. Have you tried to tweeze one of those? Or been poked in the eye for that matter? If not, just know it hurts.

Where was I? Oh, yes. In bed in the middle of the night. Back to my make-up tutorial..... make-up recently caught my eyes again. The pharmacy is right by all the make-up and razors.

First of all, I noticed some strange sponges, that resembled Peeps, hanging in bags by the make-up/ I started to wonder what was going on in the make-up world. And what was BB creme, was Primer necessary, and CC cream? I thought that primer was for painting walls.

I didn't really care as I stood in line across the way waiting for the pharmacy tech to help me. But it did catch my eye, like I said. Good job other countries for making colored make-up sponges before we thought of it.

And then I started to see the fall out (physically)of being on prednisone for a

very,

very long time.

Fat cells fell out in the wrong place.

One side effect, the moon face, a well hated inevitable was part of the fall.

BUT then I started to notice I was getting some of that cushing-ness migrate and go other places. Like my neck.

Now I had S A T U R N F A C E.

(That is me up there- aren't I beautiful?)

I complained about the many rings around my neck to a friend.

She shared tips with me. She learned about 'maskcara.com' and told me about it.
The lady impressed me. And taught me.

So did Drew Barrymore. And I appreciated her YouTube tutes and her affordable make-up at Wal-Mart.And, once again, Wet n Wild came to my rescue. (the drug store brand of choice when you first tried make=up)

-I went to you tube for some online tutorials, and found a UK guy named

Wayne Guss,

and I launched /started my tutorials.
(this is the first one)

Back to the pro...

Guss actually put make-up on his face. So, of course, I had to watch that. And I learned! And Guss knows a lot and I wish I could ask him about countering the rings...
But I learned that you don't smile and then put on your blush or else when you stop smiling, the apples of your cheeks just fall down. Gravity. Dang it.
AND
I found out what those sponge looking Peeps were really for....some famous person tweeted, or instagramed, which Peep she used and it was $30.00. And I found that if you are going to do any sort of Tutorials on make-up, you have to make your own make up and brushes.

Back to the the rings. Neck rings.

The new rings in my life were and are making me disappointed, depressed, and

MAD!

The displacement of fat cells onto the trunk of my body- with each glimpse into the mirror or reflection that comes from my computer, sinks in that my celestial, physical appearance has been and will be permanently altered.

DEATH to PREDNISONE!

So, My body has changed. And I have learned some new lessons. One day I was so astonished I turned to J. and asked:

"Do I Look like ME?"

J. stopped playing Mine Craft, looked up at me, and said: "You look like
You."

Which I figured to mean that he didn't care what I morphed into because me, was me.
Even if I start to resemble a make-up Peep.

We'll see if that changes once he hits middle school.

So while my Concealed Eye Cookies are baking this is my line of make-up ideas:

I don't have a huge amount of money to get a country that can inexpensively make my own line of brushes of the finest goat hair. So maybe I will just take it a notch up and ask beauticians around town to keep their clippings of REAL HUMAN hair. So I can say it is the best. Right?

Would you rather have a human hair in your casserole or a goat hair? Exactly.

That way I can make the softest, non-cruel to animal brushes on earth.

Barber Shops will help with the stiff hairs, from shaving men's beards, so I make angled brushes and

Stippling Brushes-

These ones are for applying foundation.

Who knew, right?

I always just used my fingers and patted foundation into my pores and volcanic scars from acne.

If they ( Barber shops) don't want to cooperate, because their hair is going to extension buyers on the black market, I could just put a bunch of staples into a brush and that will help get the foundation into the pores. At this time in the morning that is sounding way easier.

Ot will be called: The Stapling Brush.

If this were a VLOG imagine me holding up my stapler, opened, in front of my hand so you could get a good look at the correct brush cause it'll be confusing when I start adding the numbers to the different brushes because other lines of brushes look so alike.

And I don't want to confuse you.

Also, for my eye brow brush-- it will have the name-
Oral B on it.

You might think that it is simply a toothbrush that I have overcharged you for. Don't be fooled~ It has the toothbrush appearance because I want your hand to be comfortable while you do your brows.

And if it looks used, it's all part of the illusion that make-up helps you create. (see contouring tutorials online. make-up is an art of illusion, people!)

Don't try to think of those toothbrushes being used. We don't want to fill landfills full of toothbrushes. This will also help us help the environment.

Buying foundation online can be frustrating. Getting the right color in person from a lady in a lab coat can be even more difficult.

Instead I will send swatches out. Like they do at the paint stores. Or you could buy one of those mixers they use at the paint store and just add the paint, er foundation, to a can and then paint wood slabs and hold them next to your face. Or just dab and mix into your wrist.

If your wrist starts to harden up and feel stuck, stick to the painted board.

Once I get this going I will hire REAL chemists, travel to a secret underwater location and derive a secret ingredient only to be harvested by real fish.

Then I will get a real photographer to do some vlogs and hire someone who has good skin minus any of my make-up and put it on her then just show the before pictures.

Okay, time to be serious. Because it is true, taking care of ourselves is important. But there are only so many things concealer can cover up.

I didn't lie when I said Vaseline is a good thing to have. Huge. So is drinking lots of water. Stay hydrated. And use lotion. Breaking skin into stretch marks has a way harder time if it has soft skin to work with. Missed that one and am paying the price. Nothing will work to take them away once they stretch marks are striated on your body. Unless there is something in the world of surgery.

I have been using my Vaseline lotion on them which is a daily ritual in learning to love them, I guess.

Avon has a general cream that feels so good. Especially at night. When I finally could afford this, wow was I happy. No more baby lotion on my face- found out which is greasiest! And equate brands are probably okay. Aveeno lotion helps with J's eczema better than anything I have seen. As well as using Melaleuca's Renew. No, I am not a sales associate, but is the BEST hand lotion ever.

For your heels I honestly go back to Vaseline. And the Renew. And the Vaseline lotion.
I think the key here is to do it daily. No matter what you have. I wish I had stayed hydrated or at least well lotion ed up before the fall out of my face on

Prednisone.

And I never use pumice stones. Because I read somewhere that it just makes the callous grow back again. Maybe it is like the saying if you shave it, it will come back more prickly. No it doesn't. Well, my face is furrier, so maybe it just depends on who you are and what works.

If you are on prednisone long term, you will lose your hair on top. And it will come in on your face. Opposite a receding hair line, your brow will meet up with it. This can be handled with and you just have to brace yourself. And carry tweezer with you where ever you go.

Rosacea. Awwww, rosy cheeks and very shiny, bright Rudolph noses. My line will cover this, but til then I think finding products minus alcohol in them, and avoiding really hot water will help. So will living in: