My Reward!

 

Who doesn't like a reward?

 

It all began with smelly stickers on spelling tests of 110%, Gold Stars on your Theory piano book pages that you successfully theorized.

 

And then....

 

Well, rewards become harder to earn when you are in the thick of a really hard test!

 

 

Just when I thought J. could not get any more quotable or profoundly more 'from heaven' to me, he helps me with this scenario:

 

Dr. ordered new med for body, my heart had a bad feeling about it.... but I listened and took it!

Annnddd..... it did not turn out so well. I went from trying to come along to

 

 "so long calm stomach and so on! I went from pulling myself up to blog, and reading

to: Not.

 

To:  the place that exists when you take medications that your body says: "Nope." to.

 

To: a place that makes you wonder how you will blog, read, reach for your water, or whatever,

 

ever!

 

And this is one day after talking about amping up my dreams post.

 

In a very short time period I was not even close to thinking about attaining any dreams.

 

(he just sneezed in his sleep in the other room. he must know I am talking about him. it was cute)

 

With all the prayers in the mundo helped me crawl to the bathroom. After all day of no fluids.

My head rocked. My stomach wanted to put up a for sell sign and move from my body.

 

My mind was under the impression my body had not gotten the flu shot and I was experiencing the flu!

 

But I wasn't!

Phew!

But it resembled stomach flu that we already passed through.

 

Faintly I heard the door open, footsteps padding up above and then down the stairs to see me.

 

 

J. came in my bedroom where my head was buried into my pillow, he pressed his cold lips to my cheek, and I could smell Idaho fall on his person.

 

 

ME: "Could you grab a Saltine?"

 

He could tell I wasn't too well. And asked what had happened.

Another hug ensued.

 

"Awww," hugging my head to him, " you need a reward!"

 

he squared his cute glasses covered face in front of mine as he cupped my face in his hands.

 

The reward seemed to be looking at me.

 

Then he said happily:

 

"This is it!"

 

"LIFE!"

 

"You are HERE. "

 

he exclaimed as if I had just finished my first marathon. Heck, he made me feel that what I had done

all day yesterday, was my first marathon.

 

"YOU are alive! You made it through, Mom!"

 

he said this matter of fact, that I should  put my sadness away as if all would be better; down hill from here.

 

 

 

This made me cry, Readers.

 

Because after my bathroom experience, I was in rough mental shape.

I don't like the feeling of meds. Especially if you are having an allergic reaction or bad reaction to it.

Some you can get used to. Mild forms of dizziness. Headache. Whatever.

And then there are some that simply don't comply. They go against the grain. And it is the most horrible feeling. And wondering why on earth you have to go through the trial and error thing has to be part of life really sucks.

 

I will admit it didn't take all the bluck away. Been a roller coaster and I have had to try to not give in to the negative self talk. And I can't wait till morning.

 

Hopefully it will mean I am closer to this reaction being over.

 

**And one other thing makes me a little emotional.

On these blogs I can tell how many read the posts. Occasionally I will check it.

My friend used to read this before she passed away.

So I get emotional with that "minus 1". **

 

Somebody needs to rest.