Friends. (yes, even flowers are the best kind!)
But I am talkin' the girl kind right now. Your go-to-in happiness ones. The go-to in times 'o crisis ones; Which, often, happen to be the same Best Girl Friends as during the happy times! The "help me through this stack of dishes" friends. The "Text me in the middle of the night" friends.
Sometimes the friends change. Meaning you make new ones because of a move, circumstances in family life, health, or whatever. But they are always there. In your heart- there to help. Those connections that brought you together, bind you to each other through days, hours, years of time spent talking, crying, helping, serving, seeing on a day to day basis, remain. Even after many years. EVEN after they have passed on. The friendship still "evolves".
Often life, and especially parenthood, "take you" from those friends. Which is as it should be, I feel. Nurturing our little ones and hubby is number 1! Right, Ladies? But there has to be room made for friends so that we CAN do the former calling. Or else we fall flat. At least I do.
However, Schedules, distance, logistics enable "New" friend in your life that can quickly become "old ones"- they don't replace the old ones, but they enter the sacred- and when I say sacred- I mean tender, cherished, relationships with my "sisters" that becomes almost reverent- circle of strength that acts like a well. One in which I go to on many occassions to refill my cup. Whether they happen to be drawing water at the same time or not!
This cheesy, overly sappy post came because of a random call with a BGF within a month or so of this post.
We (me n this friend) have had a hard time catching up. Baby was born. We played Phone tag. There was some Illness. Church callings; Life. I always know I will catch up with her, and many others, so it isn't a big of deal. But, OH! When you can finally talk with them "live" and have some laughs!
(I love this book of A.A. Milne's because the photo of the little girl kicking off her shoe. She is so adorable. It appears she has just HAD it! And must need a talk with her friend!)
Those friends -that you pick right up where you left off, are the best! The only thing that you can gauge that has "changed" in the relationship, is that the children look different!
FINANLLY, I was able to talk with this BGF. I knew amidst all these other circumstances that "eventually" we'd catch up. Whether in the next life, or at a funeral or something, (in jest!!) But we actually don't let that much time go without our "check ups" with each other.
We Can't!! Friends mean too much! They are long suffering for us! They know when we can't talk. And sometimes they are telepathic and call just when I happened to think upon them and NEEDED to talk. Which is a weird occurrence; they come to mind and then their number is on caller ID. That's when you have a WhOa! moment!
It is a sacrifice to reach these BGFs at times! Like climbing Kilamanjaro, it takes some monumental effort to reach them. Especially when families increase!! But even during those away times, I am buoyed up by all the times with my BGFs and I want them to know that I think of them!
And sometimes laugh so hard at the trouble we got into or the struggles we grew through together.
The early ones from childhood- that met up at the bus stop and then met up after school to play gingham paper dolls. The ones that became your teammates. Which, in my case, were the same paper doll friends. The ones that were in the circle of all the friends in school, whether I played a sport with them, or not.
The ones that became roommates at college..... oh, those ones are dear because of that life changing moment that "sealed" you to eachother's memories.
The ones that had babies when you did. Were in your church and saw you weekly and at church functions. The ones that helped you get through a work out at a gym.
And then there was the one that went to the effort of connecting her cell phone to its charger- which could only be charged in her walk in closet, next to piles of dirty laundry in which her baby was trying to grab and rearrange into different piles while trying to nurse all the while contorting her body into a very uncomfortable position. Good thing she is awesome at yoga.
Just picturing her in a cramped closet, wrestling a baby, and us talking and laughing over the wailing child was hysterical. Finally we had to give the phone call a rain check cause baby wouldn't latch on. It warms my heart!!! (the attempt to talk) Making me smile, laugh and shake my head at how hard life can be raising a family and "reaching" those BFGs!
The effort makes life worthwhile and gives me strength to do things I couldn't. (i.e. the dishes Or maybe a load of laundry, Or maybe just a boost of happiness that causes me to smile to those around me and be kind the rest of the day.
I hope that all of you are as lucky as I am in the friend department. If not, realize that there are ops all around you and they come in the most surprising ways!
“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” A.A. Milne
And get this...They HGFs [helpful good friends] can even be men!
But men don't often enter the realm of the "sisterhood" because, well, they are men. Don't be mistaken, men, in my appreciation however! I have been so grateful for the men in my life that are kind, considerate, and make sure to "check in" with me. Or coach my son. (see two men below that have impacted J. by their awesomeness coaching and helpful friendship.)
Now, kids can be great friends. Like this one below- yes, I am the parent. No worries. But it's great when your best friends are fam. And I look forward to seeing him and saying: "Hi, Friend! How was your day!?"
Another example of helful male friens: the male nurse that helped me so much in the hospital. Thank you, men friends!! You can say and do things by bringing a strength to a situation that women can't. Thank you. Thank you! (Because this also makes it so we can have more enjoyable time with our BGFs, too! WIN/WIN situation!)
Truly special BGFs are the ones that remain through thick and thin, pass the test of time. And we all know time is how you look at it and a week's worth of sick kids and help from one could add up to two decades!. And the ones that you can re-patch if they ever unravel a bit.
The bonus BGFs are when you find it to be your Mom, Aunt, Grandmother. Cousin, Sister.
Or an adorably delicious nephew who is so scrumptious of a friend I wanna take him outta this picture and kiss his cheeks.
Pardon the sappy post. I will pull it together and start taking some pictures of Cats so I can post about them soon. Cause that is one post that I am really interested seeing on here!
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