In trying to figure out why exactly that is and what makes her so memorable, it has driven my thoughts deeper than they have ever gone while reading The Tale of Two Cities.
Thanks to the flu, sleep was interrupted tonight. But with that time up and cleaning up, I was able to pin point the significance of the Madame.
She is a She Demon. Dickens drew another powerful paradox by taking and putting all those horrible qualities and putting them into the character a woman. A woman should conjure up feelings that are of a soft nature, kind, nurturing; the epitome of all things created. But when you put the unquenching fire of hate and vengeance in a woman.. then you are really, truly in trouble. Because a woman can exact more destruction than man alone. Her power is beyond a man's influence in her ability to affect future generations at the moment of conception....
And it makes sense that when I just googled the word VENGEANCE, the antonym is FORGIVENESS. Of course.
I sat in bed tonight, not able to sleep- not because of prednisone, pain or even pure fatigue, but thinking about Doctor Manette, his daughter, Lucie and of course Madame F. (shudder)
Why did Dickens not tell why or what
Doctor Manette did that landed him in the tower, in solitary confinement for 20 years? Because it doesn't matter. The punishment, in the form of torture was paid for by the human. Who was reduced to something lesser than even an animal. Because animals at least have the ability to find pleasure in their freedom. Not Manette. No, he became a machine that cobbled shoes repetitively to bury the pain of no interaction with mankind, save the person who brought him his food.
There is always a moment when you can choose to build and give life, forgiveness or any other Lucie characteristic which is the essence of the "milk of human kindness" or prescribe to Madame DeFarge avengement. No matter how seemingly another person deserves it, the moment you do choose that road of an eye for an eye, Satan has you. Because really DeFarge is Satan.
And just as I wrote that it is becoming clear. Why it is DeFarge bullies her way in front of all the other beautiful things of that book for me when I try to imagine the storyline. I can't see all the loveliness of it until I work through that soulless being. Which is exactly the human predicament, what I, myself have to work through before I can become the best me.
I have to sort through whether I will choose to be a "creator" or a destroyer- every day. I hope this is not coming off femi-natzi against man. The bold statement I am making in saying a woman has more "power" over a man. But I think Dickens made the same ascertation when he made the character DeFarge. And P.S. I am capitilizing the F on purpose.. One capital in that name just doesn't do.
I think it is an honor to be a woman, really. To be the gender that symbolizes the life the Savior brought to mankind not just physically, but spiritually. And when I don't live up to that mantel, dishonor life by destroying it through whatever ways and means possible- which are a few when you think about it- then I am in essence betraying the Atonement.
This is very deep. I will stop there. I hesitated to write these musings on here, but it is what I am thinking about tonight. And I am realizing where my battle has been and thinking about the times when I have been Madame DeFarge. Gulp.
That is the hardest thing to have to imagine. It's one thing to see her barreling down the road toward Lucie with her young child, amassing mobs together to assist in blotting out mankind and quite another to allow her to slip into my being and then carry out her agenda for her. Horrible. The story could aptly have been called: The Tale of Two Souls.
. Except does Lucifer even have a soul? ugh. Gives me the shivers.
My next blog will be about Lucie; the embodiment of Forgiveness and Jesus Christ-Because it is Christmas....
I want to get that feeling back. Without it, this month is cold and dark and hopeless. I don't care what month He was technically born. The fact we get to celebrate it this month gives a lot of meaning. This little reflection tonight helped me make another analogy of why we celebrate it in the last, most dark part of the year.
Okay, whoa. Even I am getting too serious for myself tonight and this last part is getting pretty preachy. I will stop and hope that whatever it is J has, skips me. Doubtful. But I can hope. By the way, the html issue of how my posts were posting is under Settings and then Options. The html needs to be shown literally. So click that tab and the click Press Enter for line breaks. For any other unbeknownst bloggers who changed to the new interface.
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