Friday, January 22, 2010

Injection Site



Cimzia is injected either on your stomache or thigh and you need to change each week. What is Cimzia?

Cimzia is in a group of drugs called tumor necrosis factor blockers. Certolizumab reduces the effects of a substance in the body that can cause inflammation.

Cimzia is used to treat the symptoms of Crohn's disease after other drugs have been tried without successful treatment of symptoms. Cimzia is also used to treat moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis in adults

Cimzia may also be used for other purposes not listed in this medication guide.

Important information about Cimzia
Before you start treatment with Cimzia, your doctor may perform tests to make sure you do not have tuberculosis or other infections. Tell your doctor if you have any signs of infection or if you have recently received any vaccines.

Tell your doctor if you are allergic to any drugs, or if you have lupus, diabetes, HIV/AIDS, hepatitis B, a seizure disorder, congestive heart failure, a history of cancer, or a disease that affects the nerves or muscles (such as multiple sclerosis or myasthenia gravis).).

Cimzia can lower the blood cells that help your body fight infections. Avoid contact with people who have colds, the flu, or other contagious illnesses.

Serious and sometimes fatal infections may occur during treatment with Cimzia. Contact your doctor right away if you have signs of infection such as: fever, cough, sweating, tired feeling, or if you feel short of breath.

Some infections are more likely to occur in certain areas of the world. Tell your doctor where you live and where you have recently traveled or plan to travel to during treatment.

Do not receive a "live" vaccine while you are being treated with Cimzia.

Treatment with Cimzia may increase your risk of developing certain types of cancer such as lymphoma (cancer of the lymph nodes) or autoimmune disorders (such as a lupus-like syndrome). This risk may be greater in children and young adults. Talk to your doctor about your specific risk.

What should I discuss with my healthcare provider before I receive Cimzia?
You should not receive Cimzia if you have active but untreated tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have ever had tuberculosis, if anyone in your household has tuberculosis, or if you have recently traveled to an area where tuberculosis is common.

If you have certain conditions, you may need a dose adjustment or special tests to safely receive this medication. Before you receive Cimzia, tell your doctor if you are allergic to any drugs, or if you have:

an active or recent infection;

signs of infection such as fever, chills, cough, or flu symptoms;

open sores or skin wounds;

lupus;

diabetes;

HIV or AIDS;

hepatitis B (or if you are a carrier of the virus);

a history of cancer;

epilepsy or seizure disorder;

congestive heart failure;

a disease that affects the nerves or muscles, such as multiple sclerosis, myasthenia gravis, Guillain-Barre syndrome;

if you have recently been vaccinated with BCG (Bacille Calmette-Guerin); or

if you are scheduled to receive any vaccines.

FDA pregnancy category B. Cimzia is not expected to be harmful to an unborn baby. Tell your doctor if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant during treatment. It is not known whether Cimzia passes into breast milk. Before you receive Cimzia, tell your doctor if you are breast-feeding a baby.

See also: Pregnancy and breastfeeding warnings in more detail

Treatment with Cimzia may increase your risk of developing certain types of cancer such as lymphoma (cancer of the lymph nodes) or autoimmune disorders (such as a lupus-like syndrome). This risk may be greater in children and young adults. Talk to your doctor about your specific risk.



Prednisone: a.k.a. Black Magic



My Dad gave me the best compliment. He said: "I don't know how you can be on this stuff." He was on a limited dosage of the little white pill that I have been on and off of for over a decade.

I about teared up with the sentiment. Truly, he was empathizing in the only way he knew how.

Linsey, a gal that works for my Dr., interviewed me for research one day; part of the 10 year study on Cimzia-

She asked: "Have you been on prednisone?" I guffawed. Smiling she asked: "Ok, I meant WHEN were you first on it?"

How could I forget? "1999" I fired back. I didn't know an inkling about the drug back then. Just that it was a white round pill that was really bitter to the taste so I took it with milk chocolate milk if possible. Methodically stirring the spoon fulls of Nestle to chase down the gagging pill. But no matter what, an aftertaste stayed in your mouth somehow.

Magically my symptoms disappeared until a new set of effects started in. Like joint pain for instance. When I couldn't sleep at night I didn't know that it was because of the seemingly harmless little pill. Then the constant insomnia seemed a bit peculiar.

I didn't know how important it was to taper off it until after being so sick of the side effects I decided to just go off cold turkey from a high dosage. I learned a new word: Anaphalactic shock. Not fun.

So when Linsey said they call it 'Black Magic' in the office, I had to adopt the phrase. It truly is a med that many love to hate. When you are wasting away, it can miraculously turn the tide with wannabe Moses-like authority. But the price you pay for the almost immediate response is dear.

If you are on it for long periods of time you start to resemble it; you turn round. My skin becomes paper thin causing cuts and bruising at the slightest mishap. I have never come to be so grateful for "tough skin". A simple blood draw when your veins have been ruined by prednisone can be excruciatingly painful. The veins will look good to the nurse then when entered, burst. I

It can even swell the pupils of your eyes. Everything is just a bit fuzzy and nothing helps but tapering. Which can take weeks, or even up to a year. The little grooves in the pill make it easy to slide your nail into it and split it to decrease the dosage. Then you can cut it into fourths or even eighths. Then I just get the 1 mg tabs or 2.5's.

Red acne covers your face to help accent the roundness.

It makes you want to cook new recipes (Like Cuisinenienie's Best Possible Waffles at a late hour). This isn't in fine print when you get it at the pharmacy, but be warned!

Sometimes good old-fashioned nauseau will set in. And that can make you berserk, but you will be anyway, so no worries. Phenergan can help, saltines and if you need the cadillac anti-naz; call your Dr. and pray your insurance covers it.

But prednisone may leave you with some funny stories to tell later. Like once my boyfriend took me out for ice cream in Bountiful at Pace's. My brother, Dan, was in the back seat. he had come to help to take care of the huge yard at the home I stayed in. The owner's, close friends, were on a vacation. Well, I sat down in the passenger seat of his honda, holding my soft serve vanilla ice cream cone,forgetting the automatic seat belt. The little motor whirred it up and around and right into my ice cream securing it right on my shirt.

Tears stung my eyes. I unlatched the seat belt, unrollled the window with all the patience I could muster; Dad and Scott not quite aware of the event since they were happily eating their treats; and in one fluid toss, threw the cone and what was left of the ice cream, out onto Orchard drive.

Poor Scott. Poor me.
Oh, the best advice to share? Eat bananas every day on this med. Or else you can wake in the night with so many cHaRlIe HoRsEs in your feet and legs you will wish for death. If this happens, jump into the tub and run warm water on them and push the pulled muscles in the direction of the horse- or charlie!

My friend, Care, wants me to share another Sorcery- type post that I had written to her a few weeks ago. I am debating putting on here. It involves a witch -looking creature that works for a debt collector.... I will ponder it and, depending on the reinforcements, post later.


Leave A Trace

Jehudo Epstein's 'The Dying Job'


I am a big proponent of journal writing. the top shelf of my closet is almost filled across with them. They range from picture albums, pretty covered ones with nice paper, to sheets of scrap computer paper furiously covered with ideas, and feelings. Envelopes and Mead notebooks are my Journal of choice these days.

Why? They are cheap and I feel I can write whatever I want and not ruin a pretty Journal book with the scribblings.

I was asked by to teach a lesson at a meeting for women in my church called Enrichment Night. It focused on doing the little things, like journal writing, praying, reading scriptures and serving.

So this week I noticed my mom writing in her journal. She shared some passages with me. And I read some passages about myself that I appreciated that she included...

Here are some:

"4-11-98. Amanda went through a very bad episode with her disease. She had a toxin in her blood stream that was not diagnosed for awhile. We finally decided to take her down to University of Utah Hospital. Dr. Fang is very intellignet. He changed her meds. She is doing a lot better. As well as can be expected. He said she is a hard case because she Crohns, Colitis and IBS."

Then she recorded one of the sweetest things that had been lost to my memory.
First I should say that at my healthiest in HS as an athlete that lifted weights etc. I weighed 127. My body is comfortable at 135 and after a child I think that I would be happy at 140. Here is mom's entry for April 2, 2004.

"Amanda Has been goin downhill again. For the past two month it's ben esp. bad. She got down to 118 pounds. I went down to help her when she had a colonoscopy. It is bad. She has ulcers all over her colon. They put her on 60 mg of prednisone and did an infusion of Remicade. It costs around a thousand for each infusion. Their insurance just kicked in, but they still have to cover co-pays....

"When she came home a couple of weeks ago, we all were sitting around the table. Jaden was in his blue booster seat and Amanda was feeding him his cereal. She got emotional about her situation and started crying. Jaden leaned his head over toward her and put his hands around her neck as if to say:'Oh, mom, I love you, it's okay. I hope I never forget that moment. He's only 11 months old."


















This picture was taken two months after the journal entry, when I was starting to regain my strength and weight.


Thanks to my mom's entry, I will never forget that moment.



Wednesday, January 20, 2010

One Virtuous Woman


A couple of years ago I watched a movie, bella. Then I watched the special features and was stunned to see this actor, Eduardo Verastegui, make such a stand for virtue.

After being in a Mexican boy band, a model, and in telenovelas he came to America to pursue his career. He was learning English from a woman who asked if he believed in God. He answered Yes. WEll after further questions, she asked him more questions that he answered in the affirmative. Then she asked why he was using his body, a temple, to poison others.

Well he had an about face, changed his life,

recommited to God and even started a film company called Metanoia.But not before he went four years with out work. He wanted to be part of a company that would make films that make a difference. Ones that don't depict the Latino culture in a negative light. wow. That is a sacrifice.

And he had the courage to make a movie that promoted a woman not terminating her pregnancy...

Did I mention that he was handsome? ay, yi, yi.





Yesterday I read an article boldly stating that "A Return to Virtue Could Save a Nation." (Elaine S. Dalton. BYU Magazine 2010. p58-63.)
She writes: "WE live in a world that is concerned about cleanliness and purity- the cleanliness of our air and the cleanliness of our environment, our water, and our food. In some places we legislate against pollution and even have government funded environmental protection agencies to ensure that we are not made ill by contaminants that get into our air, our water, or our food supply. Yet society tolerates moral pollution in the form of porn on billboards, television, and the Internet and entertainment and other media. We tolerate filth that invades our minds through suggestive lyrics, music, and language.

I believe that the lack of virtue in our society is directly resp for many of our social, financial, and governmental ills. I believe that the disintegration of faith and families and the financial unrest are directly related to a lack of virtue in our society. And I believe that a return to virtue could save an entire nation.

We call for a social reform, but what is really needed is a moral reform- a call for a return to Virtue. Virtue means purity, and it begins in the heart and in the mind. "It is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. The Latin root word for virtue is virtus, which means "strength". One contemporary meaning states that virtue is an "effective power or force; especially, the ability to heal or strengthen."

This power is not the kind of power we see in the world. It has nothing to do with fame, position, good looks,or wealth. The power and strength of which I am speaking has everything to do with virtue, which is chastity and sexual purity. There is no strength that is greater than the strength of virtue nor any confidence that is more sure than the confidence of a virtuous life. "

(I have add this quote in at this point: "Your wealth and fame will be your virtue." Don't know who said this.. sorry.)

Elaine continues: "... During the critical days of World War II, Winston Churchill aroused an entire nation when he said: "you ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: victory. Victory at all costs, victory is spite of all terror, victory, however long the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival."

"I echo that call for the war in which we ar engaged today by paraphrasing the words of Winston Churchchill for you: You ask, what is our aim? I can answer with one word virtue. Virtue at all costs, virtue in spite of all opposition, virtue however long and hard the road to repentance may be; for without virtue, there can be no victory.

"What will your generation be known for? Will you be known as the tolerant generation, the consumer generation, Gen X or Y or will you be known as the generation that was seduced into living your lives virtually instead of virtuously? Or will you, could you be known for your purity and virtue and for your courage and strength in leading the rest of the world in a return for virtue and for your courage and strength in leading the rest of the world a return so stunning that the very purity of your lives and teh strength of your conviciton change the course of society and change the world?"

"I truly believe that one virutous woman or man, led by the Spirit , can change the world."

I have tried to keep this blog on a professional level. I wanted to create a web presence for myself so that as I sent in essays, books, etc. I could direct editors and publishing companies to this site. But the more I write, the more compelled I am that I need to be more true to myself. My header above is a depiction of a room, a desk, a typewriter. Not just any room, but my personal space that I want to invite readers into; To share the things that will really help others I need to take a leap of faith and put myself out there if I am going to make a difference. Hence, the sharing of this article. I am going to dig deeper and share the truth of a single mom, struggling with a disease that is debilitating, pioneering medications that have horrible side effects, dealing with my pride as I struggle taking government assistance despite having a degree and wishing that I could work and use my talents to contribute and give back; this is my fight.

As much as I would love to deliver a sweet, sugary coated rendition of my life in tight book form; the reality is the bitter, jaw clenching taste of Raw Rhubarb.

The artwork is Minerva Teichert. I love her work. I can't wait for the day when one will hang from my wall. Starting with the one on the top.


The Mariaichi Band











While discussing current events, like the earthquake in Haiti, my friend, Care, and I talked about solutions. What could possibly be done? I mentioned the unsustainable land on which the country now sits. Only backed with a two hour reading of National Geographic in a mechanic shop a year ago as back up. But the graphs and pictures made a strong case that Haiti, was in a heap of trouble.

She mentioned her father's experience in a South American country that was seeking help from his non-profitany comp called Interweave Solutions. A philanthropy/business based company. (interweavesolutions.org)The leaders listed the things they needed, a well for water, schools and health care. He offered them an amount of money and said he would leave them to talk about how they would use it. When he came back with in an hour or so they told him what they needed; A Mariachi Band.

Como?

If they were to be a recognizable community, they would need this band. So they used the money to get uniforms, instruments; six months later he visited and the band, despite their amateur sound, had pulled the whole community together in a party.

Within a year, they met that list of needs, by themselves. The well, the school, the start of businesses. All to the credit of the Mariachi Band that was a glue to their community.

I don't know if a band would help Haiti right now... not likely. But I am wondering, what is the equivalent for Haiti? What is YOUR Mariachi Band? What do you need together, that may sound frivolous, but that helps you feel confident and desire to succeed? So I ask Carolyn, she can't think of anything up front but a clean house. I start to think what I need. I wish for non-reflective lenses. If I have to wear glasses, and most the time I do because I am allergic to lenses now. It hurts. It doesn't doesn't correct astigmatism. But it definitely is the thing I hate. Hiding behind Coke Bottle lenses that glint in light. But when you don't have the money and you need other things... is it frivolous or your Mariachi Band?


Care said: YOu are your own community.. can you make more money with that pair of glasses and that band to get that well in your life? Bringing you the needed water to survive?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Wax and Wealth



"Wealty Women and sometimes men wore cones of wax containing perfume atop their heads. As the wax slowly melted in the heat, the face, head, and shoulders became pleasantly scented." (p. 79 of Mummies, Tombs, and Treasure. by Lila Perl. Clarion Books 1976)

And after death was when they did their cosmetic surgery, using sawdust to amp up cheek bones, and shoulders. None were manipulated at the breast. Haven't we come a long way? ; )

Today's Publisher Highlight: Giddy-Up Publishing. Author: David Giddings shown below surfing. He has written books on skateboarding and other sports for children's books entitled under: Harry The Bear. Giddy-Up can be contacted at Giddyup.com their number is (734)302-4444.




Friday, January 8, 2010

What Inspires You?

















In the Children's Guide I am reading an author,Justina Chen Head (Nothing But the Truth and a few White Lies, suggests identifying or expressing in words your the Character's Heart Desire.

Ask: What does my character want most? Why doesn't he/she have it? What would be the character's pure moment of joy? What scares the character to death?

Given the her most heartfelt desire, deepest fear, what does she NEED?

When you answer these questions creat a collage, a motto by your writing spot... whatever to help you remember the answers and inspiration behind these questions.

It took me a couple minutes to answer them, but immediately I zoned in on what needed to happen with my charachter and how I could make all that I wrote, contributed to the beginning and end. She finally had a true heart that I could work from, she became real to me. Not just a character. Try it!

And here is a start to my collage.. My adopted motto:


"The little airplanes of the heart
with their brave little propellers
What can they do
against the winds of darkness
even as butterflies are beaten back
by hurricanes yet do not die"

-- Lawrence Ferlinghetti















Thursday, January 7, 2010

When Butter Hits the Cupboard



Do you ever have one of these days? This is an old picture, and despite looking staged, is totally a natural occurrance. Opened the cupboard one day for a dish and.... butter is not where it was put. Hmmm. I needed a laugh. Enjoy...

It melts my heart


Sunday, January 3, 2010

How to Draw Mo. Willem's Pigeon





I love Mo's art. You, or the little luvvies, can learn to draw his famous pigeon at his web site. Or google it. Jaden is convinced he can become an artist.. his renditions of me are now similiar to the pigeon.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

BIC HOK TAM! and Eduardo




This is mumbo jumbo from the book: CHILDREN'S wRITER'S & iLLUSTRATOR'S MARKET 20th edition. And the man above is the inspiring, okay, good looking star from Bella. They have nothing to do with each other, except that I find both interesting. And Jaden has a classmate with the same name and initially referred to him as ED Wordo.
He actually has a good story of turning around his life- check it out.

On p. 28 of the book is a great bit of advice from editor Alice Pope. The above silly phrase has to do with writing a book in a week. i.e. sitting in chair with hands on keyboard and typing away madly! Another way put is by author, Jane Yolen, at a conference; she said: "Write the damn book!"

Seems pretty simple, doesn't it? She continues: "It's a way for undisciplined writer's (me) get over themselves, their search for their muse, and their writer's block." Taking the internal editor out of us.

Compares it to mining the rock= which is writing a lot of crap. shuting down the "infernal internal editor" were her exact words I tried to paraphrase above.

"Sit your bum on the chair (muse),.. the muse is myth.. stacked pages next to computer is a reality"

"Think of writer's block as an urban legend. It is usu. fear, resistance or lack of discipline."





Friday, January 1, 2010

Feel Like Crying


Do you ever feel like crying? For no particular reason? Maybe it is because my baby is sick and there isn't anything I can do about it.

A tooth is on the verge of falling out and on top of it his little lip has a blister on it, it was huge when he came home and is finally is going back down. Add a cough on top of it and stomache pains and wall-a. heartache.

It didn't help that the day was spent researching editors and publishing houses. One of J's favorite books from the library has been: The Horned Toad Prince. A fractured fairy tale that I am loving lately, too. So I checked out the author's web site. Jackie Mims Hopkins inspired my future author blog with her personal bio. And the illustrator, Michael Austin makes me want to find books drawn by him, too.

The publisher, Peach Tree, out of GA, takes UN's. (unsolicited) ms (manuscripts).
So I tried to research the editor, Helen Harris. And there are gobs of them. Which one is it? Good qustion. Personalized the query, checked the ms and then went back to my reading of The Children's Writer's and Illustrator's Guide.

And now I NEED to blog about it. sigh. I can't even watch a movie with out working! And to top it off, my hopes of meeting Eduardo Verastegui are waning. did I not mention him? sigh.. life is so tough.

Maybe if I learn to rope like Reba Jo in The Horned Toad Prince, I might increase my chances. That, or I could kiss a toad. Read this book!

And if you need to find Eduardo, he has a film company called Metanoia films along with starring in a movie called Bella!

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